Chapter 30: You're leaving?

I wipe my cheek as I pull the zipper on Ash's bag. I feel his keen gaze on me as I pack his bag, but he doesn't say anything. Good, because I don't know what to tell him. Even I don't know what I'm doing. I'm packing up but it hasn't sunk in yet. That we're leaving again. Running again. Ash jumps off the couch and waddles over to where I stand. He drops his action figure on the top flap. "Forgot this, Mommy." I let my gaze meet his brilliant blue and I don't think I've hated myself and my life this much. I crouch down in front of him, placing my hands on either of his shoulders. "Ash..." He giggles, grabbing my hair. "Ryan will come with us, right?" My eyes are puffed up and really hurt from crying. I don't think I can handle anymore of this. It's the hope in his eyes and the brimming excitement. "No. He's busy and—" "No," Ash says and his eyes darken. His smile falters and his fingers drop from my hair. "I don't wanna go with you." I cup his cheeks and press kisses to his fa