Chapter 18: Late night tryst

Sitting up right, I pull the flaps of my night robe together. "It is nothing. It's been over for years. I don't want to bother you with the details. It's really not that important." Yes. I'm a fucking liar, but our relationship right now—we do not particularly have a solid one yet, but whatever this is, it is off to a rocky start. And even if I hate to admit it, I am enjoying his company tonight. He looks rather handsome when he smiles. It is a beautiful thing to watch. Why would I ruin this with talk about Grant? I can't imagine telling Ryan about it. He got so mad when he found out I hid Ash from him. I am scared of what his reaction will be when he finds out about his brother being my ex. But Ryan doesn't let it go. He rests his jaw on his fist, curiosity lightening his eyes for the first time today. "Tell me about it. It isn't a bother." I bite the inside of my cheek as I grow more and more nervous. "He...ah..." My voice trails off as I try to string words together. "We broke up. He cheated on our anniversary," I mutter under my breath. "If it makes you feel uncomfortable, perhaps, we should not talk about it," he says softly and I am stricken by how nice and thoughtful he is. Needing to say something that won't rouse his suspicion, I go, "You do not make me feel uncomfortable." His eyes are suddenly filled with intensity and...shit. How does one word turn an atmosphere around? The air is suddenly heavy with tension and I find that I can't hold his hot gaze. I turn to the TV instead, clenching my fist hard enough to hurt. "I didn't mean it...that way." "I didn't mistake it for something else," he quips, voice cool and disinterested. I want to look at him again, to ascertain if his eyes are just as cold as his voice sounds, but I already know they are. We have not spent much time together, and it feels like I already understand his thought processes. "So...meet someone else?" I ask. Anything to remove the sudden coolness in the air. "No." I take my eyes off the TV screen and watch his side profile. "Why?" He looks at me then. "I was holding out for someone." My heart is spinning in a ballet rehearsal now. I am swooning. I think he is talking about me. No. I don't think he is talking about me. I know he is talking about me. My voice comes out breathy and squeaky as I say, "She must be special." He doesn't take his eyes off me as he replies, "She is." I swallow and stare at the TV again, not quite seeing it. My heart's racing so hard, I might puke. What to say to that? I have no idea. I'm special? Something in me doubts that it is me he refers to. He is a billionaire. He has women at his beck and call. He's also the most eligible bachelor in LA. A different caliber of women want him. I am a nobody. I can barely make ends meet. I do not have a single thing to my name, except my bakery and I doubt his family would be interested in it. I literally have nothing to offer him or bring to his table except my specially baked cakes and pastries. If he ever made the decision to be with me, the whole world would probably laugh at his decision to. I'd look like a fucking leech perching on his sleeve. The image is so vivid, I shiver with repulsion. Not that I want to be with him in that way. Lately, I can hardly make decisions on what it is that I want. I see Ryan, and I think of bad things. I think...I think it's about time I got laid. It's been a while. As if on cue, he asks, "You? Did you meet someone else? Love someone new?" Though he tries to make it sound flippant, I can hear the sense of urgency in his voice. I tuck my hair behind my ear and drop it on the couch. My hip hits the soft area beside his, causing our hands to touch. The charged air between us turns the small touch into something more and I stifle a shudder. "No," I start, but my eyes flutter close when I feel his fingertip thread lightly on the curve of my fingers. The featherweight sensation shoots all the way to my core, turning it molten. My eyes snap open and I clamp my thighs together, ashamed at the sudden feeling. My breasts suddenly feel heavy in the night robe and my folds clench severally as I try to steel myself against his touch. One touch and my body has dislodged itself from the commands of my brain. My insides are a hot mess and I do not trust myself to stay put if he strokes my finger like that again. Hell. This is so not what I need right now. "Why?" He asks, seemingly oblivious to what is happening to me. I can't dredge up the words to answer him, not when his fingers slide further up my arm, tracing soft lines past the length of my robe to the exposed skin of my neck. A soft hiss escapes me when his finger grazes my earlobe and I grit out, "I had to take care of Ash. I didn't have much time for anything. I also... I..." I groan softly when his finger caresses the curve of my ear. "I do not wish to get into a relationship. Not...not after him." He cups my cheek, forcing me to look at him and my world tilts again when I see the blatant desire in his gaze. I really should have remained in my room. I can't seem to resist him. I do not love this man, yet, my body recognizes him; responds to him; knows his touch; remembers it from that night years ago. His thumb grazes the corner of my mouth and when they slide against my lips, my tongue darts out instinctively, swirling over his fingertip. His eyes darken and he lowers his head. My heart thunders as his warm breath tickles my lips. My eyes close in anticipation. But a sharp cry suddenly comes from my room, shattering the moment. Ash. We come apart abruptly and I race for my room as Ash suddenly starts to cry. Ryan is hot on my heels, but I do not register it. I throw the door open and I see Ash lying on the floor. He must have rolled off the bed. I had been too busy thinking about Ryan that I had forgotten to tuck him between pillows, since he hates sleeping alone in his smaller bed. "My love," I say, lifting him in my arms. "I am so sorry. Does it hurt anywhere?" Ash shakes his head, cleaning his tears on my shoulder. His arms around my neck are tight and he sniffs, head falling forward to rest on my shoulder. Ryan threads his fingers through Ash's hair lightly and soon, Ash is fast asleep again.