Chapter 4 Still living in the past

***POV - Melaena It s times like this that I miss my mom the most, but she s been dead for years now. We found her murdered in our house, and since then dad s m.i.a too. Uncle John took us in and raised us, with Kiara, as his own. That s a night I would never forget for as long as I live. We all walked into our house, my brothers, and I, eager to eat the pizza we bought. The smell hit me first and then the sight of blood on the floor between pieces of broken glass, the room a chaotic mess. I remember Jackson dropping his box of pizza, vomiting in the flower pot next to the door. Jackson could never stand the sight of blood for some reason. Ilkay told us to stay put and he disappeared into the kitchen. The twins followed him a little later. Logan grabbed me and my 10-year-old body started shaking like mad, forming a little group of frozen, scared kids, silently waiting for something we could not even begin to understand. Jackson ran back, emptying his stomach into the pot again. Ilkay walked in like a zombie, dragging a sheet-white Enrique behind him, and my big brother forced us all outside, making us sit on the porch until Uncle John arrived. Enrique threw up a few times into the rosegarden and he looked like a ghost. Jackson was not looking any better, he kept on hitting the wall with his fist, leaving a scarlet pattern on the white paint. Logan never left my side, clutching so hard onto me it almost hurt. Uncle John hurried inside and after a while, that seemed like forever the police and ambulances showed up. They put blankets over our shoulders, the paramedics injected us, and bandaged Jackson s bloody hand before Uncle John took us all to his place. He told us that our mom was dead and that dad left us. I ve lost both my parents in one night. My father would never have won the dad-of-the-year-award, but he was still my father. We all knew he drank and worked too much, but he seemed to love us at least the short few times he was around. I force my mind back to the present again. Why do I keep recalling the past tonight? But I think I know the answer – Damion. I m going to see him again after almost a year and I m not sure how it s going to make me feel. "It s only been a couple of weeks, I can hardly be in love with him in such a short time." I eventually answer Kiara. "Look, you know I don t believe in the storybook kind of love, but I know you re looking for that, and I m speaking about something I know nothing about here, but I just think that you are looking for it in the wrong place. Or rather with the wrong guy." She clicks her tongue when she sees my what-the-fudge frown. What does she know anyway? Ren is my first boyfriend, she knows that. "So are you going to have sex with him?" She seems a little agitated. We made a pact when we started high school that we won t lose our virginity until we are totally sure it's what we want. Oh, the innocence of youth. In our senior year, Kiara started dating one of Axel s friends, Don, and I know they did it prom-night, like most typical teenagers. But I m different … I m waiting for sparks, electricity, love – name it what you want, the special someone. And Ren is not him. "No." I ll rather wait at least until I feel consumed by lust. "And it s got nothing to do with …. oh I don t know …. some green-eyed bad-ass?" Now, why would Kiara bring him into the conversation? He s the last one I want to think about, but still, he haunts me like the ghost-from-hell he is. "Ug, seriously? He s like a fungus or something I can t get rid of. And anyway, he s bad, mad, and crazy, and I m officially sure he doesn t have a heart, at least not a beating one. I m not going to get on that choo-choo train again. He goes through girls faster than my phone goes through data." She doesn t answer, but just pouts her lips and nods her head. I know she doesn t believe me. Kiara is my best friend and she knows me even better than I know myself sometimes. I get up and pour some coffee before sitting on the sofa this time, slowly sipping my caffeine boost, watching Kiara piling more clothes on the bed. There s a small knock on the door and then Axel s face peeps in. "You decent." He asks in a soft voice and we both yell 'yes together. Axel has seen us like a million times in our pj s before, but he always asks before he enters our rooms. He s like our gay-but-not-gay best friend. It means that although he s totally into girls and extremely hot, we like to think about him as a gay virgin. And I say 'virgin in a very relaxed casual sense since he also goes through girls like a knife through butter, but he hides it better than my brothers. And with looks like his, combined with his mysterious personality, he for sure as hell doesn t find it too hard to woe the ladies. But there are no complicated feelings between us, it s like he s our brother from another mother. Since he helped us in the haunted house, the three of us have been inseparable. This past year after school, Kiara and I took a gap year, traveling and backpacking through Europe and Asia, courtesy of Uncle John of course. But now it s time to enter the real world as varsity freshmen in the next week. We are both going to Stanford University and we re going to share a townhouse, although we each own a house in the complex. Uncle John gave each of us, including Axel, a super luxurious house with a view of the ocean. My brothers each stay in their own houses, but we re going to stay in Kiara s house and rent out mine to a friend. Kiara is going to study Psychology, while I enrolled in Computer Science and Graphic design. I ve been freelancing since I was 15 and I hope to get a job with Google after graduation. I look at Axel and notice that his delicious swimmer s bod, turned into a total muscle machine this last year. Axel is a fireman at Station 19, but he takes some subjects at the university just to be part of their swimming team. It was just too bad that he couldn t travel with us, but he couldn t afford to take the time off from his swimming practice if he wants to qualify for the Olympics next year. He comes in and falls onto the sofa next to me. "So Axel, what do you think about Mel and Ren?" "Can you ladies PLEASE keep me out of your love lives? But the answer is that I think Ren is a scapegoat because you re too scared of the devil you secretly want." Axel pulls an unsatisfying innocent pleading face and Kiara holds out her hands in an I-told-you-so motion. "What I secretly want is new supportive loving and sympathetic best friends." I think back to the day just before we left for Europe. Damion teased me and got on my nerves like always, but then I grinned into his smuck face like a cat smelling cream. "What?" He asked, standing rather close to me making my hair stand up. "Just think, I won t have to put up with all your crap for more than a year!" I gleamed. Damion got this glint in his eyes and slowly moved towards me, a smirk plastered over his way too handsome face. "Damion, if you come any closer I ll castrate you for sure!" I yelled, but he didn t even waver, he pushed me against the wall, his arms on both sides of me, closing me in. I wanted him to kiss me so badly, yes … I know … pathetic. "I ll miss you, my little angel." His voice was husky and his minty breath sent goosebumps down my body. He kept me there for who knows how long, both of us just staring into each other s eyes as if frozen. He stood back, leaving me feeling cold and unsatisfied, and he winked at me with a knowing smile. Ug, I hate that guy! Kiara and I shared some romantic kisses with a few handsome foreigners during our travels, nothing serious or hairraising, but like clockwork, I saw his emerald eyes teasing me in my mind every time. Do you know how frustrating that can be? He s killing my love life no matter where I go. "You guys getting ready already?" Logan enters the room, followed by the rest of my brothers. I shake the cobwebs out of my head. Tonight is the last day before we move off to our new lives and Uncle John is throwing a bash here at his mansion. Ilkay s eyes find mine and I can see he's worried about something, nothing new, my brother is always worried. As a matter of fact, I m pretty damn sure that one was born worried. He s responsible, reliable, calm, and clever, and I mean extremely clever, like a certified genius. At the age of 24, he is already finishing his last year of residency at UCSF, and starting the new year he ll continue his studies to become a neurosurgeon. My eyes move over to Enrique, the cocky playboy, age 23 is the fun one I ll call to bail me out of the fire. He s also very annoyingly observant, just like his twin, and I struggle to hide things from them. Enrique is a super successful international model and actor and also shares ownership of a nightclub called 'Inferno with Logan. He winks, making me smile. Jackson is hanging on to his twin brother. He plays right-wing for the Sharks at the moment, but he s planning something with Uncle John, to expand Blackburn Enterprises – as if it s not big enough of a company already. But what do I know? I turn my head to look at Logan, age 21, leaning against the wall. He s the star quarterback for the 49ers and my dramatic brother, the little bad-ass, womanizer. And just like his siblings, he can t seem to stay out of trouble and the tabloids. "Mel!" Enrique jumps on top of me, making me almost spill the last coffee. "You re daydreaming AGAIN!" Logan pulls the last words out and I just give him a faint smile. Ye, it s something I do a lot, I know. I call it brain-running. It s as if I just can t switch off my brain, even at night. As much as I hate to admit it, mostly it s about Damion. Don t judge, I don t have to like the guy to divulge how incredibly sexy he is. But mostly it s about how much I hate him, or how to get back at the ass-head dick. Not that I ever think about his ass … or his dick … oof, Mel, oof. "I was just dreaming of my sweet little brothers." I spit out the lie without even blinking my eyes. "Ug, that s not creepy at all." Logan moans pulling his I-smell-shit face. I stick out my tongue at them and get up to start looking for something to wear. "Maybe you girls should start titivating for the party tonight, while us boys go and get something to drink." They all get up and move out of my room and I hear Enrique s sexist comment "Damn, it s good to be a man!" "You know that Jason is also going to be here, right?" Kiara asks me as soon as the boys leave. I pull a face. Jason grew out of his cowardness over the years and turned into a hunky jock and one of the most popular boys in school, but he s still the same jerk. I just bear his annoying ass because he s friends with Ren. But my mind is not on Jason or Ren, Damion is coming and it s going to be hell to see him again. And I might see more of him now that we re going to stay close together, that is when he s not racing somewhere. Even though I hate his guts, I must admire his performance on the track. He s the youngest motorbike Grand Prix champion ever, and he always breaks records as if it s nothing. But it s not like I watch his races on TV or something. Ok, I watch some … maybe most, or all of them … but it s because I like bikes and also because my brothers watch it all the time. It s got nothing to do with him. I don t know why my stupid brother had to go and make friends with the worst guy ever.