Chapter 5

7: Sister, Are You Pregnant? [Avah's Point of View] Two months ... I just passed two months like that. Maybe if it hadn"t happened that night I would probably have been a full -fledged nun and definitely not how my life is today. I would have been happy inside the Convent with Mother Segunda, the Sisters and the children. After I told Mother Segunda my final decision two months ago not to pursue nunhood, that was my last visit to the church. I don't look like I can face them anymore. I am no longer a clean woman. I let a stranger defile me, and I let short -term lust ruin my life. When I left the church I quickly found a home. In fact it is almost only a bedroom in size, there is a bathroom inside and four corners. Its contents are now a pallet lined with a mattress, a fan, a wooden chair, a table, a drawer for my clothes, dishes, a spoon, and other utensils that are primarily needed. It's been two months and my monthly visit hasn't come to me yet. I know what"s going on in my body, I know why I always seem to feel dizzy, sometimes nauseous. I know all that but I haven"t been able to see a doctor yet because I don"t have enough money. Sometimes to avoid being bored with what is happening in my life, I just think that my son is here. A blessing from God that he sent me so that I would not be alone. "Don't worry, son. I'll get paid later. We'll have a check-up tomorrow. We'll also buy delicious food so we can eat well again." I caress my stomach which until now has not been bulging. Later I will receive eight thousand wages for being the crew of a famous restaurant. Two thousand is for the house including electricity and water. The rest is for a month of my son's meal and my check-up tomorrow. I got up and took a shower, changed my clothes and left for my work. It was 6:30 in the evening when I got out of work. We stood all day because there were a lot of costumers especially now in February. Over and over again, greet those who come, say goodbye to those who leave, take orders, serve. It's a very tiring kind of work but the salary is good so it's okay. Because I was tired, I just ate at the cafeteria and then went straight to sleep when I got home. I woke up early the next day, because I had already handed over the payment for my rented house. Cooked, cleaned and then dressed myself for the check-up. After recovering from the hospital, I will buy food. The building or apartment I am renting is two stories. My room was on the second floor, when I reached the last step of the stairs I didn"t expect to see Melanie. Only he knows where I live. "Avah!" He greeted with a smile on his face. He was carrying plastic with the SM brand. "Melanie, what are you doing here?" "Visiting my friend, of course!" when he reached where I was standing he hugged me tightly. "You off somewhere? Btw, I bought you some stocks." "Yes, I'm going to check up at a clinic I'm going through." "Check up? What for?" Melanie frowned. I caressed my stomach while there was a smile on my lips. When he realized what I meant he was amazed. "No, you are not pregnant right? No! That night was a mistake!" "I don't know yet, Lanie. But I feel the result will be positive. And even if it was a mistake that night it was still a gift of thickness to this child." It seemed like a minute Lanie was stunned and swearing in English. He was shocked by what I told him. When he recovered from the shock he said, "Okay. We're going to the best hospital in town. It's my fault too, and I wouldn't let my godchild be checked in a cheap clinic whatever." "I haven't even confirmed that I'm pregnant yet, will you be right away?" I laughed and responded to what he said. "Honey, I will be the godmother whether you like it or not. Now let's go on the damn taxi and get you checked up!" Lanie even clapped her hands and let me into the white taxi. "Manong, to the Philippine International Hospital please." Lanie's artistic promise to the driver. "Yes, ma'am." We took a taxi in just twenty minutes, there was no traffic of that state yet. After a long trip, we were dropped off by a taxi in front of the giant hospital which, apart from concrete, is also made of brilliant glass and steel. PHILIPPINE INTERNATIONAL HOSPITAL Those are the big letters that are hanging and staring at the giant hospital. I told Lanie I had no down payment. Even though I refused several times, he insisted that he would pay. Because of the beauty of the hospital and when Lanie was wearing it, I wished I had worn a better dress than my old knee -length skirt and loose -fitting dress. We went inside the hospital, Lanie asked the nurses and they immediately recommended us to a good doctor of pregnant women and children. On the fourth floor is the office of such a doctor. "Ma'am this is the office of Doctor Talaveda, please get in." The nurse said that she is obviously also good at English. "Okay, thank you." Melanie replied. Lanie opened the door and left it wide for me to enter. I immediately saw the old doctor, he was talking to someone who also looked like a doctor. A man, well -cut, clear skin even though almost the whole body is covered in a lab gown. "Oh, hi ma'am. How can I help you?" Doctor Talaveda stood up quickly when he saw Lanie and me. "Doc can you check my friend? She's suspecting that she is pregnant." Lanie answered for me. I nodded when the doctor who had been talking to the old woman suddenly appeared. When our eyes met we had the same reaction. Shocked. I quickly averted my eyes from the father of my future child. Fortunately, Doctor Talaveda spoke as a reason to reduce my loneliness. "Doctor Sebastian, can you please excuse me and my patient?" The man smiled and then stood up. I averted my gaze again. Why is it that in so many places we will still meet here. The man kept coming out and that's when I could breathe easily. "You know what, you look very familiar to me." That doctor told me. Soon he seemed to remember what he wanted to say. "Sister Avah! Right? Hi. I knew it was you. My family always attend mass in Quiapo Church." "Yeah. It's me." I stuttered. "Sister, you ... you are pregnant?" It's embarrassing that she still calls me sister, but the confession that I bring a blessed child will never embarrass me. "Yes. I think I'm pregnant." I smiled at this answer. 8: Rejection While doing the ultrasound, I couldn't help but think that the father of my future child was a doctor. And with the increasing chance that we will meet, it is still here, here at the hospital where he works. When Doc Talaveda spoke it was only then that my attention went to him. "You see that little bean-like stuff? That's your baby, tho its still fetus. The fetus is still developing the facial features such as mouth, tongue and nose. The eyelids close over and won't open for several months." The doctor explained as I looked at my little angel. There was some pleasure that suddenly arose in my heart when I saw him. "You will feel your breast becoming heavy and full, that's normal. I will also prescribe you vitamins that you should take for the baby's health, and I'm demanding you to eat healthy foods because the fetus is weak. But not too weak. . " "Yes, doctor." After Dr. Talaveda gave the results we went straight to the ground floor to buy prescription vitamins. "I still can't believe that you are pegnant, Avah." Comment by Melanie. "Did you know I asked earlier that my suspicion was wrong? But Melanie, when I saw my baby? That was the happiest time of my life. I always regret that I asked for that kind of request." I laughed at that. "You really are a mother material, Avah." Mel said in amazement. When we met in the waiting area he said, "You better stay here, Avah. I will pay the ultrasound fee and buy you vitamins." "All right, I'm going to take a shower too. I've been urinating before." I whisper here. "Okay, we'll wait for each other here. Okay?" "All right." I smiled at Mel and we took different paths. I entered the social bathroom, many women facing the mirror. The beauty of what these women are wearing, they are also very beautiful and the makeup on their face is the same. There are those who comb, there are those who have eyebrows or lipstick. I looked at myself in the mirror and I couldn"t help but underestimate myself. As Melanie said, I'm very good at dressing up. But since I'm not comfortable, why should I go with him? And one more thing, I have no money for those luxuries. After urinating, I washed my hands before going to the bathroom. I was walking alone in the narrow hallway while thinking about what my son and I were going to eat when I got home when suddenly someone pulled me while I covered my mouth. My eyes widened as I tried to scream despite covering my mouth. A stranger ushered me into a room with AUTHORIZED PERSON ONLY posted on the door. My brain is running fast. What negative things are running down my occiput. Who is this? Why did he bring me here? Is he a thief? I have no money! I will not give him the for my son! Lord, help me. "Don't try to scream or I'm going to seal your lips with mine." Harvest of the man's familiar voice. Even though it was dark and I could hardly see anything, I still knew who owned that voice. He removed his hand from my mouth. Soon the surroundings suddenly lit up after a sound that I think was the light switch. He that. It was my son's father who pulled me into this room. I quickly hugged myself, as if I was protecting myself from him. But I also have to admit that he looks more handsome in that kind of dress. While she was wearing the laboratory gown. As I praised him in my mind he spoke, and every word he said only caused pain and humiliation to myself. "What are you doing here? Are you following me? I paid you already! Is that not enough? How much do you want? Come on, name the fucking price." I used to think he was a good person, now my heart is filled with anger. Everything he said was like threads wrapped around my heart, it pulled and it tore at my heart little by little. Tears welled up in my eyes at all his accusations. And even though I knew he could see the pain in my eyes he just continued his hurtful words. "Did you really bring me here to my place of work? For what? To ask for money? Tell me, you're not happy with the amount right? How much? How much do you want the amount?" I raised my right hand. I was about to slap him but I withdrew my hand. The way for me to build my own dignity is not painful. A treacherous teardrop fell from my right eye. Instead of wiping it, I opened my wallet first and looked for the check he left me as a payment after we had sex that night. When I found it, I looked up at my son's father. "I want you to know that I didn't deduct even a penny from your money. Here. Here's the check, yours. I didn't ask you to give me money. Or pay you after that night. I'm not selling my body , so here's the money. I don't need it. " As I promised myself, I tore the check in front of him. I saw the shock in his eyes, but you quickly disappeared. "I'm not following you, and if I only knew you were working here or we'd meet here, I'd rather go to the most discreet clinic just to look." Even though my voice was calm, I was still simmering with anger. "I also know that you will not accept the child I am carrying, but I will not take away your right that you are probably the father of my child." I promise him. Whether he accepts it or not doesn't matter. I would be even happier if he left our son to me. What mattered was that I tried to father the child in my womb. When he heard what I revealed, his face darkened. "You really think I'll buy that? If you let me use you, how will I believe that I'm the only guy who has fucked you?" My lips trembled at the same time as my hot tears were dripping. "You're the only man I've slept with. And like I told you, you don't have to accept the child. I'll raise him alone, I'll love him with all my heart. Just tell him you don't want to, you don't have to trample on and belittle my character. The important thing is that I informed you of your right to be a father, but now I know your answer. You made it clear that you don't want the child and I accept that. And my child will accept that. " I couldn"t help but cry as I said those things. When I recovered I hurried out of the room and wiped away the dripping tears. 9: Unwanted Visitor When I got to the waiting area, Mel was already there. He must have noticed the redness in my eyes because he asked if I was okay and if I was crying. I quickly shook my head with a smile on my lips. "No. I'm fine. Can you take me home, Mel?" "Sure! That's why I escorted you here, right?" "Thank you, Melanie." I took his hand and squeezed it. "Anything for you and for your baby. How about you move to my house, Avah? Just be alone in that small, mejo dirty and old apartment. Honestly it's barely an apartment, its just a small room." I never let Mel know that I was disappointed with how he described my house. But on the other hand, I thought he was just telling the truth. About an hour later we were back home. Melanie even took me to a restaurant and fed me delicious and expensive food. I told her several times that she didn't have to worry about my food but Melanie insisted. Melanie stayed at home for a few minutes until she received a call from work. After the call he also left, I am very grateful to him for all the expenses he incurred. He also bought me edible, nutritious long -term foods. I was talking to my son while nuzzling the small bulge in my stomach. "God's gift, son? We can't move our money. We'll still have something to use in the next few days. Let it go, son. When you leave, I won't make you feel like you don't have a father. Just stick to it. Huh? Just come with me. I can't wait for you to be born, son. " Suddenly my tears flowed. No matter how hard I try to forget the hurtful things my son"s father said I can"t help but hear it over and over again. But now that I have clarified things to him, I am somehow relieved. Because it was Sunday, I thought of visiting the Convent. Mother Segunda should just know what I'm bringing, I'm sure she'll be happy and surprised too. I will also reveal the real reason why I finally refused to become a nun. I knew they would accept me, not even as a full -fledged nun, it would be okay to be a real mother. It was night when I left the Convent. My former colleagues were overjoyed when I announced my pregnancy. They said that this was really what the Lord intended for me, they also offered a prayer for my pregnancy. The love of people who have faith in God is very different, and this is the kind of love I will show to my son. The next day was just as usual, I woke up early and entered the restaurant where I worked. The Italian restaurant has a lot of customers, so we, the staff, don't have to worry about coming and going. "Caprese Salad with Pesto Sauce and Panzenella at table 24, Avah!" Shout out to those in the main dishes, we waitresses take care of the customers while those in the kitchen take care of the meals. Because Margarito's Italian Restaurant is a popular restaurant in the Philippines, it is visited by foreigners, which is why we workers speak English. I picked up the tray of food then I walked over to such a table. "Buon appetito, signora e signore," I greeted the Italians with a smile. (Enjoy your meal, ma'am and sir.) "Thanks!" Gratitude of the Italians. There are very few people like them who smile at our waitresses, so when we receive gratitude it makes it easier to work. The same events just continued until we were so tired that we no longer realized the time. Near the end of our time, we will be replacing the night shift. By six o'clock our work was done, the newly arrived waitresses took over. Before changing my uniform, I rested and sat to one side. I stood all day, walking and going back and forth. After a few minutes of rest I got ready to go home. I said goodbye to my co -workers and exited from the back of the restaurant where employees enter and exit. When I got home, I quickly opened the food that was sent home to me, as if it were my son and me. A Focaccia Bread that is old and can no longer be sold. But it was okay, it just hardened a bit because of the bread and soaked in the air for a long time. I mixed coffee to warm my stomach somehow. I had just taken two bites of bread when suddenly there was a knock on my door. I looked up to see the time, it was almost seven o'clock. Who will visit me now? Maybe my former members of the Convent! Of course I told you where I live! I first swallowed the food that was in my mouth before I stood up and opened whoever was knocking. My smile suddenly disappeared from my lips when I saw who it was. She? What is he doing here? I quickly closed the door but he blocked his hand faster and forced it open. Because I was tired, he grew stronger and stronger he succeeded in opening the door. He entered without speaking and closed the door. I remained standing, shocked and disgusted because he would suddenly show up after he denied my son. "What are you doing here?" My voice was a bit disappointed. Davien rolled his eyes, and couldn"t get through to me how he judged my house as if it were the most mdauming place in the world. After he looked around, his eyes went to my food. His forehead furrowed quickly. "Are you really eating that junk?" I'm tired, I don't want to waste energy just for useless talk or rocky spicy words. "Whatever you say, you have no control over my life. Can you leave now? What are you doing here?" Davien looked at me so seriously that I was a little scared. He approached me causing me to take a step back. He slowly approached while I tried to avoid. As I stepped back, the back of my knee covered the bed I was sleeping on. I just sat down suddenly on the mattress while the pounding of my chest did not dance with loss. Davien bowed until his face was in line with mine. "I'm not leaving without you. You won't raise my child in this junk apartment and you won't feed him with junk and dirty foods." What does he mean ?! He will house me even though it came from his own mouth that he does not believe that he is the father of my child ?! He's crazy! To be continued...