Chapter 19 : Avoiding the Subject

*Gemma* I flung the quilt off me and started to hurl myself off the bed, but Kael stopped me by sitting on its edge with an exhausted laugh. "You're alive," I said, unable to keep the disbelief out of my voice, even as relief flooded my veins. I could breathe normally again. "Miraculously. I'm glad you don't sound disappointed." "I am," said Raisa behind us as she turned on the gas lamp on the wall, throwing a decent amount of light into the room. "You don't mean that," I protested, twisting around. She'd sat up, and I assumed she was overheating in the desert weather because she was only wearing the "bra" Seri had given her up top—just a few strips of cloth banded around her chest. Reflexively I looked at her exposed stomach. There was a faint bruise where Connor had kicked her. Kael laughed again under his breath. "It's alright. She can be as mad as she wants at me. When we're all better I'll let you have a swing at me." "Oh, you'll let me," Raisa snapped sarcastically. "Trust me, it'll be more than just a swing." She threw herself back down and covered herself under her blanket. Kael nodded his head toward the door. I got the hint and followed him out into the adjacent recovery room that was well-lit by two gas lamps. Kael walked in first, and I turned to close the door behind me. "I'm sorry about Raisa," I began, turning. "Oh, shit." My back hit the wood when I saw Kael. He was completely transformed. There wasn't a trace of blood or dirt, but all of his many wounds were stark against his clean skin, even if they'd been cleaned and treated. The biggest shock was seeing him for the first time looking normal and not beaten beyond recognition. He wasn't fully healed, but it was a relieving improvement. That… or realizing he was very attractive. He still wasn't wearing a shirt. Though gauze had been wrapped around the claw marks raked across his chest, that still left the rest of his torso bare. He was fit, to say the least. Fit enough that my throat went dry, and I had to clear it. "What, they can heal you but not give you a shirt?" Kael spread his arms in a grand gesture. "I thought you would like this view." I took in the light painting shadows in the planes and divots of his body. From the hollow of his throat to his collarbone to the V of his hip bones exposed by his low-slung pants… he was a perfect model for a drawing class. When he cockily showed me his back, I took in every curve of muscle, watching his shoulder blades glide under his skin as he moved them. I barely noticed the fresh or old wounds. I shook my head to clear it and forced myself to keep my eyes on his hand and nowhere else. "You just can't grasp the gravity of situations, can you?" Kael's laugh, while also attractive somehow, was starting to infuriate me. "I'm well aware. I'm just trying to keep the existential dread away." I snorted. "Is it working?" "Hard to tell," he said with a shrug. His eyes looked me up and down. I was much more modest with an oversized shirt. I also begged for underwear and a bra, but only succeeded in getting the former. Unlike Raisa, I didn't think I could bear a bound chest when I was hard for breath already so I wouldn't be trying to wear the same type of garemtn she had on. Now facing Kael's scrutiny, I regretted it. When I crossed my arms, his lips curved into that obnoxious sly grin. "Are you self-conscious about something, Gemma?" I scowled. "Your leering is unnecessary." "I could say the same about you." I stormed over to the window that had a wonderful view of an empty alley. "There. Feel better?" "I'm still enjoying what I'm seeing." "Ugh, you're horrible!" I snapped, whirling. "To think I actually wanted to save you—" I broke off in a squeak. Kael was inches away, chin tipped down to meet my gaze. I could still see little cuts, but the swelling of his eye and lip had gone down considerably. I found myself pinpointing every detail of him. There was faint stubble on his defined jaw and a tiny hole in his left earlobe, like from a piercing. His eyelashes were thick, and so were his brows, half hidden by his shaggy white hair. He definitely needed grooming. His lips… well, they were nice. Objectively. "We saved each other, then," he said, voice husky. I noticed his eyes drop to my mouth. "Are we going to talk about it?" "I guess we did." My voice was brisk. "And what's there to talk about?" "The throne room." My heart skipped a beat. Kael quirked a smile. "I heard that." "Oh, get off me," I snapped, shoving him away and stalking toward the exit despite my spark of guilt when I aggravated his chest injury, and he grunted in pain. "I have no idea what you mean. It's late, we should go to bed." "Right, right." I sensed him following. "We'll address it in the morning over breakfast. Dr. Baron says Ferio makes a mean omelet—" I whirled on him yet again, pointing an accusing finger at Kael's stupid face. He only looked amused, as if I was hardly a threat. "The only thing we will be addressing is our next move—meaning me and Raisa. You can figure out your shit on your own." Kael caught my wrist and held fast when I tugged back furiously. "We're going to the same place, so we should stick together." "How do you know where we're going?" He released me. "You want to go back to Oceantide, don't you? You have to take the train to Niburgh first. Coincidentally, I need to get there too." His voice had taken on a serious tone, his smile fading, and the look he turned on me was pensive. My annoyance ebbed. "What's there?" I asked. "My pack. I need to get back, alive. And to set back out to save my brother." "What happened to him?" Kael exhaled and opened the door. "I don't know. You're right, we need to get some rest. Recent saviors first." I returned to my and Raisa's room. She'd snuffed out all the lights. Kael leaned on the threshold, still watching me, now contemplative. "What?" I demanded quietly. "You're just a lot different than I imagined you to be." "Well, I certainly didn't expect a male who just thinks he's so funny." Kael prodded my forehead with a forefinger so I stumbled into the room, and he could close the door. "Make an effort to not be a priss, hmm?" I opened my mouth to cuss him out, but he already closed the door; I could hear his footfalls fade down the hall. Goddess help me, I was so wired that I'd forgotten my exhaustion. Why was he so irksome?! And why was I so affected by it? I was lashing out after every sentence he said. I really didn't need to. Maybe he was right. I just needed to let him be who he was and just accept it so his attitude didn't bother me so much. I lay in bed and closed my eyes. Come tomorrow, it was time to start fresh. *** Ferio really did make an excellent breakfast. Raisa, Kael, Seri, Dr. Baron, and I all sat at their living room table and chowed down—all except Raisa, who barely ate and just pushed her food around her plate. Her depression dampened the mood of the entire room, making it difficult for conversation. Finally, Dr. Baron stood and sighed, "Miss Raisa, let's go for a walk." Halfheartedly she agreed, and the two of them left the house. Seri and Ferio offered us the run of the place as they went off to their own business. Leaving me alone at the table with Kael. "Small talk?" he suggested after a moment of awkward silence. Remembering my promise to myself, I nodded. "Sure. But I'm not ready to talk about yesterday." "Fair enough." Kael leaned back in his chair, perfectly at ease. Thankfully he was finally wearing a shirt, even if it was a tight fit. "What about today?" I sipped water from an earthenware cup. "If the car hasn't been stolen, let's just drive to the train tracks and hop on when the train comes. We can't stay here long, or Connor will find us. I don't want to make trouble for this family after they've been so kind." I assumed that's why Dr. Baron had become a physician–to help people. "They brought me back from the brink of death," he agreed. "The basis of your plan is solid, but…" Kael set his elbows on the table, leaning toward me from across it. "It's going to require stealth, lying, and claws. Why do I get the feeling you weren't very successful in warrior training? The East has that, right?" "Yes, we have training," I said, then tried to tone down the defensiveness. "I just wasn't built for it. I only know the basics. But I can handle my own." Kael observed me again. "I don't doubt it. Yesterday was proof. Stabbing the most dangerous being on the face of the planet… That takes guts and more strength than just physical. He didn't… hurt you, did he?" I shook my head, fighting back the memory of his touch. I had been incredibly, incredibly lucky that he hadn't used more force. "Good. Anyway, we should give ourselves a day to recover a little more. I, for one, could use another bath." I suddenly found myself not wanting him to get up. "That wasn't much for small talk. Nor is this much of a plan. You know more than you're letting on." Kael settled back in his chair. "Here in the West, if you don't have five backup plans, you might as well accept a violent death. Yes, I have several plans." "You should share them with me." "No." "Why not?" "It would screw things up." "What things?" It surprised me when I saw Kael's jaw clench. Now I was the one being annoying. "We have to talk about the throne room, Gemma," he said by way of answer. "Hell, we need to talk about seeing each other at Niburgh. I think… I think I sensed you." I opened my mouth to actually agree, but Raisa came barreling into the living room, eyes wide. "Hazel Epsilon," she panted. "They're going door to door. We need to get out of here." Kael and I bolted to our feet. He looked at me. "I hope you know the way back to the car." I nodded and went to grab Raisa's hand, making sure I still had the records paper tucked in my pants' waistband. Seri suddenly appeared from around the corner before we could even start out. "Come with me."