Chapter 13

Evelyn s POV Waking up, I roll before squealing when I feel myself falling, my eyes snapping open. Just before hitting the floor, an arm snakes around my waist, pulling me back and onto their chest. My heart races at the sudden shock of nearly falling off and then races harder when I realise, I am now laying on top of the devil himself. My eyes open to see Thaddeus with eyes half open watching me. He yawns, and I can tell I woke him. What I don t remember was getting in a bed with him. I could feel Thaddeus breathing change as he awoke completely. A smile on his lips. He almost looked human in this moment. All traces of the monster I know is gone. Just hypnotic green eyes I could get lost in and full lips only centimetres away from mine. "Good morning, Evelyn," he whispers watching me closely. His hand on my back rubbing my skin softly, sending sparks everywhere he touches. His hands are warm, different to the chilly hands of Orion. Thaddeus moves his other hand, brushing my hair behind my ear, his hand cupping my face and his thumb brushing my cheek gently. I involuntarily lean into his touch, find it soothing and I don t understand why, but right now all fear I have for him is gone. Maybe because he wasn t killing people now, wasn t being rough. He was almost normal in this moment. "Morning," I tell him, wanting to move off him, yet my body seemed quite relaxed in his arms and didn t seem to want to move. "I m sorry I hurt you. That was never my intention. I never want to hurt you," he says, his breath fanning my face, and I inhale his intoxicating scent. He smelt nice, they all did in a weird sort of way, addictively sweet and intoxicating, erotic. I had never been turned on so much by the way someone smells. Thaddeus moves underneath me slightly before rolling onto his side, one of his hands under my head, the other resting on my hip before he pulls me closer, crushing me against his chest. I place my hand on his chest and he shivers under my touch, making me chuckle. "What?" he asks. "Nothing, your just being nice for once," I tell him, and he pulls back looking down at me. "Never heard someone describe me as nice." He chuckles before pulling me closer. I feel his hand run down my side to my hip, sparks moving across my skin tickling me making me squirm. "Are you ticklish, little one?" he says, doing it again and getting the same reaction. "Yes, but it doesn t tickle it s a weird sensation," I tell him not knowing how to describe it. "Tingling?" he says. I nod against his chest. "The mate bond is working then; I feel that every time you touch me." "Does it stop?" I ask, "No, been years and I still feel it every time Ryland and Orion touch me. If anything it got stronger," he says, and I feel the bed dip behind me before feeling sparks run up my shoulder and someone rest their chin on me. Looking over my shoulder, I see Ryland. He kisses my nose. "What are you two doing?" he asks, a devious glint in his eyes. "Nothing we just woke up," Thaddeus tells him. I feel Ryland lay behind me, making my heart race when I feel his hand move my hair off my shoulder, his warm hands brushing my skin, making me shiver. Ryland chuckles softly behind me, his lips next to my ear. "She can feel the mate bond," he states. He starts running his finger along my shoulder, making me gasp as sparks move everywhere he touches. Thaddeus grip on my hip tightens. I feel Ryland s breath on my neck where he bit me. I feel his tongue move over it, and my eyes close as pleasure makes my toes curl and I moan softly. Thaddeus hand moves over my hip to my waist, and Ryland sucks on my mark. Feeling pleasure erupt through me, sparks rushing down from my neck to between my legs making me moan loudly and forget who they are as I become lost in the feel of arousal washing over me. I had never felt pleasure before, and it was mind blowing. I didn t want it to stop. Ryland s hand moves down my body and brushes over my stomach, his lips not leaving my neck as I feel his hands slip into my pants, rubbing my slit through my panties. I feel his lips move from my neck and he nips at my shoulder. Thaddeus hand pulls my leg over his hip and I roll my hips against Ryland s fingers. I could feel my panties become wet with arousal. "She is so wet," Ryland growls next to my ear, making me wetter. "Do you want him to stop, Evelyn?" Thaddeus asks making my eyes snap open and I realise I was lost in the feel of them touching me, yet it felt right. Nothing felt righter than this right here. But yet I knew it wasn t. They were killers and I am human. Ryland s fingers slip beneath my panties, his finger rubbing between my wet lips before I feel him rub my clit, making me moan loudly. "Evelyn, do you want him to stop?" Thaddeus asks, I don t want him to stop. I have never felt like this before, almost high on the feel of him touching me. "It s okay to want us, Evelyn," Ryland says. His fingers stop moving and I know he can feel my unease through the bond, my mind and body at war with itself. "Don t stop" I gasp, moving my hips against his fingers. Ryland moves his fingers again, rubbing my clit in a circular motion, and I feel my juices spilling onto my thighs as I moan at his touch. Thaddeus lips brush mine and I feel his tongue brush my bottom lip wanting access. I part my lips and he plunges his tongue into my mouth, his tongue tasting every inch, and I moan into his mouth when I feel Ryland slide a finger in me, making me flinch. And my mind becomes flooded with memories. Memories I kept in the back of my mind, memories that I tried my best to detach myself from. I feel my entire body tense, and I squeeze my eyes shut tightly trying to fight them off. I feel Ryland pull his hand from my pants, and Thaddeus growls at me. Making my eyes snap open. I try to breathe, find my grounding place, trying to remember the mantra that always saves me. My breathing coming harder as I try to shove the memory aside, to remember it s not happening, that I am not in that monster s den. I feel his greasy hands on my body, the bourbon on his breath, the sickly yellow colour of his skin. I try to get up, try to remove myself, and I feel hands grip me as I stumble off the bed. My vision becoming tunnelled, and I try to force myself to take a breath. To force the air in my lungs as my heart beats erratically in my chest. My hands reaching for the nightstand where I know my handbag is. Muttering my mantra, trying to ground myself, I grab the bottle of pills, only for it to slip from my shaking hands and the tunnel vision gets worse as darks spots take over my vision. I welcome the darkness, it s where I feel safest because it makes it go away. Makes the feelings go away, the shame, weakness, the dirty feeling of being used. Darkness wraps around me, and I breathe, taking a breath of air as it sucks me under. Thaddeus POV She was fine, I could feel her through Ryland. She felt safe and liked what he was doing to her, and a little shocked and uneasy at her reaction to us. But I could tell she was new to pleasure. She wanted to know what it felt like, her inexperience showing with the way she didn t know what she was feeling, just that she liked it. That s why I asked. Why asked if she wanted him to stop, I could still feel her fear of us, but our hands overrode it, touching her. I could smell her arousal perfuming the air, she was so lost in the feeling of us she hadn t noticed Orion watching from the armchair. He wanted her not to fear us, so he gave us this moment with her. Then she froze, her entire body locked up when Ryland pushed his finger inside her. I pulled back slightly and the look on her face was like she went somewhere else, trapped in wherever her mind took her. Her face became flushed like she couldn t breathe, and I felt her struggle to breathe. It reminded of the time she first seen us when we stepped in the cafe. The feelings coming off Ryland from her were pure panic and fear so strong it took my breath away. She clutched my skin, her nails digging into me, breaking the skin on my shoulders as she thrashed, tears rolling down her cheeks and off her chin. I growled. I didn t mean to scare her, her eyes snapping to mine, but it was like she was looking straight through me. That vacant look in her eyes as they darted around the room. Getting off the bed, she gets up, and she gasped for air, her hands trembling, and she nearly falls off the bed. I grab her arm to steady her, trying to figure out what she wants when Orion sings out. "Her bag, her pills" he says, and I watch her digging through it trying to find them muttering to herself. "See feel touch, see feel touch." I had no idea what she was talking about when she finds the pills, she drops them onto the floor. I watch as her eyes roll into her head and her face goes slack as she plummets to the floor. Catching her, I scoop her up, cradling her to my chest. Her breathing going to normal. Ryland looks pale and his hands trembling, his canines protruding from his lips, and I can feel guilt running through him. Orion, noticing it to, stands up, rubbing his arm. Ryland would have felt her emotions ten times worse than us because of his mark that lay on her neck. What I felt made me feel sick to my stomach, so whatever he feels must be crippling. Ryland's skin returns to normal, and his breathing slows. He closes his eyes, trying to fight against every emotion running through him. Replacing it with a rage so strong it nearly knocks me over. "I don t understand, she was fine. What did I do?" he asks questioning himself, questioning everything he did, guilt and anger flooding into me. "You did nothing, something must have triggered something," Orion tells him before looking over at Evelyn in my arms. I inhale her scent and can no longer smell fear radiating off her and her body relaxes in my arms as she stirs. "We can ask her when she wakes up," Orion says, staring at her as she stirs in my arms. Walking downstairs, I sit with her on my lap, her head on my shoulder. Orion hands me the bottle of pills and places a glass of water on the lamp table next to me. "She will wake soon, I can feel her consciousness fighting to come back," Ryland says watching her worriedly. Orion sits next to me and I open the bottle of pills, finding two left. "How many?" I ask, looking at Orion. "Lisa gave her two," he says a little unsure. "Were there more in her bag?" I ask. Orion shakes his head. "One of us might have to head to the City." "I will go, I am faster," Orion says. "Shouldn t you be here when she wakes. I can go." "Why?" he asks while putting on his jacket. "You know why, she likes you more," I tell him as much as it pains me to say it. "You will be fine, just don t yell at her, or force her to do anything. Ryland will be here, and I will only be gone for an hour max. If you go or Ryland, you won t be back till tonight," he says, and I nod knowing he is right. Orion is way quicker and knows his way around the city better. "Maybe when she wakes up, ring Amara," Orion says, making my eyes snap to him. I haven t spoken to my sister in years. "If she won t tell us, maybe Amara may know." "Amara would need a photo or something of hers to pick her up," I tell him. "Just see what she says when she wakes up. She might tell us if she feels comfortable enough," Orion says. "Maybe I should go?" Ryland s says. Orion shakes his head. "You can feel her emotions, know what they are. You should stay. I won t be long. And by the way, what she was muttering was her trying to ground herself. I read a book on it once. Panic attacks can lesson or stop if they ground themselves. Something they can see, something they can feel and something they can touch and taste," Orion tells us. I raise an eyebrow at what he just told us. "Makes no sense to me" I tell him. "No, but obviously it does to her." I nod and watch as he bolts out the door. Ryland gets up, shutting it before sitting next to me, brushing her hair out of her face. We sit in silence, waiting for her to wake up. Twenty minutes pass, and I see Ryland straighten up and glance at her. Evelyn sits upright suddenly, and I hear her heart rate rise as she looks around frantically before spotting us, and she takes a deep breath. Ryland grabs the glass of water handing it to her and she clutches it, her hands only trembling slightly as she takes a sip and I open my hand revealing the two pills and she pinches them with her fingers before popping them in her mouth and sculling the rest of the glass. She then leans against me and I rub my hand up her back. Ryland and I both unsure what to do. I suddenly wished Orion stayed, he was better with humans than we are. The silence was becoming deafening. I didn t know what to say. Was there a right or wrong thing to say? Suddenly she got up, walking into the kitchen. Her movements a little sluggish as she filled up her glass before drinking it and refilling it again. Ryland and I followed her. She seems fine, like nothing happened, and then I realised we weren t getting answers from her. She was just going to pretend like nothing happened. Push whatever it was away like it doesn t exist.