Everything Except For This

"What to do?" Xavier murmured. He seemed to be asking James, as well as himself. James smiled bitterly and said, "I know that you blame me, even if you..." He closed his eyes and put down his hand dejectedly, "In the final analysis, I owe you." After that incident, Xavier completely changed. He seemed to be crazy, but also was so depressive. He was in great pain. When he went abroad, he didn't talk about that thing to James's parents. He only said to them that he wanted to go abroad for further study. James was ridiculously wrong. He owed Xavier. Since he had done something wrong, it was impossible for him to turn back, because he couldn't change the fact that he had hurt Xavier, even if he regretted it and had apologized to Xavier. Over the years, he was shocked and couldn't believe it at first, and then he became regretful and blamed himself, and then he even tried to forget that incident. On the first year it happened, his pain was no less than Xavier's. That kind of deep self-blame