Chapter 2 2 Heartbreaking

I WENT STRAIGHT home to the condo and poured out the pain and resentment at what had happened in the church. I took off my gown. My smile was bitter when I threw it in the trash can. I went into the bathroom and let the water from the shower flow into my body. At the same time, abundant tears flowed. I was like that for an hour before I thought of getting dressed. I slowly lay down on the bed, thinking about what had happened at church, causing tears to fall again on my cheeks. I could feel nothing but the pain in my heart. I woke up to hear Cindy and Mommy knocking outside. They begged me to open the door. Until the noise outside disappears. Maybe they were tired, or maybe they chose to give me time to be alone. *** I WOKE UP because of the sunlight hitting my face. I just fell asleep with the window of my room open. I got up and prepared myself to go to the office today, though I already file a leave for the wedding, which did not happen. "Margaux, why are you here? You should rest first." There was a shock in Karen s voice, my secretary. "I will go crazy if I just mumble in my condo. Besides, I still have a lot to do. There will be holidays again," I said. I was wearing sunglasses, so she didn t pay attention to my puffy eyes. I went straight to my office. "Are you really okay?" she asked worriedly. I just smiled at her and removed the sunglasses before facing the papers on my desk. "Margaux, if you need someone to talk to, please do not hesitate to call me," she said in a low voice. "I m okay, Karen. I just don t want to talk about what happened. I ll call you when I need something," I told her. "Okay," she answered and then left my office. I began working. I don t want to free my brain for a moment. Until the intercom on my desk rang. "Lester is on the line. You want to talk to him?" said Karen on the other line. I closed my eyes firmly before answering. "I ll talk to him." "Hello?" said Lester on the other line, but I did not answer. How my heart broke when I heard his voice. "Margaux, can we talk?" My tears flowed. "Baby, I love you . . . I know you know that. Something just happened that I couldn t make it to our wedding. Please, I need to talk to you," he said, begging. "Babe?" I took a deep breath before speaking. "Okay. Let s talk after office hours." Then I quickly dropped the call. The day ended quickly, which I barely realized because I made myself busy. "It s Lester again," Karen said on the intercom. I pressed the enter button. "Hello?" "I m outside your office," he said. "Okay, I m going down." I didn t bother to fix myself like I used to. I didn t put lipstick and blush on. When I came out of the building, I immediately saw Lester leaning against his car. My chest throbbed loudly. He was wearing a white V-neck shirt, bleached jeans, and rubber shoes. Looks like he just finished taking a bath but forgot to shave. He also appears to be sleep-deprived, as seen by the dark circles beneath his eyes. Despite that, he was still handsome. I also noticed that he was holding a cigarette. When he noticed me, he immediately threw away the cigarette he was holding and greeted me. He would have kissed me on the cheek, but I quickly avoided it. "What else are we going to talk about?" I said in irritation. "Let s talk in some other place," he said in a low tone. He guided me into his car. "No, thanks," I firmly refused. "I better use my car." He had no choice but to agree, so I went to a restaurant using my car. "What do you want to eat?" he asked as we sat down. "Just water," I answered even though my stomach was boiling earlier. I m hungry, but I don t want to be with him for long. "Marg, baby . . ." He held my hand resting on the table. "Don t you f*cking call me that!" I said emphatically and pulled my hands. "Look, Margaux . . . I m sorry for what I did. Something unexpected happened yesterday," he said while shaking. "My God, Lester, I thought we both wanted this ever since I said yes to you. You simply threw away what we had for over three years!" I spat. "Believe me, I really want to spend the rest of my life with you . . ." he said in a low voice, then took my hand again and laid a soft kissed there. I stared at him intently. From my viewpoint, he was still attractive. His eyes are black, he has a sharp nose, and his lips are crimson. Adonis-like in appearance. Suddenly the pain in my heart changed. I didn t want to cry in front of Lester, but my tears were about to fall. "Please tell me, Les . . . What happened between us? Where is your promise that you would not hurt me? Our parents were hurt too because of what you did!" Tears welled up in my eyes. "Shh, please don t cry, babe." He wiped away my tears. "Stop it! Bullsh*t!" I shouted and yanked his hand away from my face, which caused us to get the attention of other customers. "Please, baby, just give me one more chance. I can fix this. I promise!" "I don t want to hear any reason why you didn t come to our wedding. I guess this will be the end of our relationship. After all, we can never get everything back to normal because you already broke us!" I got up and went out of the restaurant. "Margaux!" Lester chased after me, and when he reached out, he grabbed my arm tightly. "Let go of me!" I violently grabbed my arm. "No, Margaux. We haven t finished yet. Come inside again, please . . ." he begged as if he was running out of patience. "There s nothing between us, Lester! We re through!" I said in my cold voice. "I will not allow you to leave me. I m just asking you for a little time for me to fix this problem I got into. Believe me, after this, in any church, I will marry you. Please, baby. . ." His voice is gentler, but that is not enough to touch my heart. I slapped him hard on the cheek. "F*ck you! I'm not a dog you can leave somewhere and come back to at any time!" I shouted. "You are my first love, my first boyfriend, and the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with," I continued. I don t care if people outside the restaurant look at us. "I gave you everything, but it s not enough! It s just a pain because you are the first one I love, but you are also the first one to destroy me." Tears fell on my face. I deeply regretted crying in front of him, so I quickly wiped away the tears before turning around to run on my car.