Anxiety

(Camilla’s POV) I checked myself in the mirror for the last time before heading out of my apartment. Looking pretty has always been my forte, but I felt the need to put more effort in my appearance tonight. I even hired a personal hairstylist and makeup artist just to pamper me right. I have been rich for the longest time, but I was never popular like Kalel. I never had people bash me so much online. I thought I was already perfect, but these people in the internet seemed to have always find a way to find flaws and imperfections to me. They used it against me, and I hate the fact that I am affected. “You look very beautiful, Miss Camilla,” my hairstylist said, looking at my reflection on the elevator. I gave her a short glance. Accepting genuine compliments has always been hard to me. I always think people say something good to get something good in return. It’s always a give and take and you can never receive something for free out of genuine intention. It just doesn't exist in the world we live in. “Thanks,” I still said in spite of all the overanalyzing I did to her simple compliment. It didn't take long before my ride came. “Hello,” I simply said to my new driver. This is my first time meeting him, but I didn't feel any worry because Butler Jin hired him for me. I trust who he trusts. “Good evening, Miss Camilla. Wow! You look very gorgeous!” he said, counting five of the number of people who have complimented me along the way. I’m starting to believe them now. I’m literally just wearing a simple tube white dress and a black blazer to layer it. It gracefully hugs all my curves and enunciate the right amount of skin to expose. I look sexy, but not provocative. I don't even know if you get what I’m saying. It’s just very hard to explain. I have always honored the true meaning of marriage. I respect God and the church. That is why I wanted to look as presentable and noble as possible. Besides, I have read a lot of bad comments to my choice of clothes. These people seemed to be very entitled to every little decisions I have. “You’re going to meet your fiancée?” he asked, breaking the ice cold silence in the car. I rolled my eyes at the back of my skull upon hearing the word ‘fiancée’ from his mouth. It used to give me butterflies, now it just gives me headache. “He’s not my fian….” I wasn't able to finish what I was saying because I immediately realize that I’m not supposed to deny it from anyone. Our plan is to make our engagement as real as possible in spite of the rumors spreading that we just got engaged for business. I would rather have that as my truth than the gold digger part. I’m not sure if the people are stupid, but how could they think that a billionaire like me is a gold digger? Just because he’s richer, doesn't mean I want his money. “Pardon?” he asked, a hint of suspicion in his old voice. I cleared my voice, fixing my position at the back seat where I was sitting. It didn't take long before he realized that my silence meant it’s not his business. “Forget it, Madam. You look stunning tonight and I’m sure that Mister Kalel thinks the same.” Who cares about what he thinks? I focused my attention to the view in the window. Each second that I’m in the car felt like a bullet bursting out from a nozzle. I can't seem to focus and everything just feels so fast. All I want is to stay here. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to escape this fate. I know that this engagement thing is fake, but the worry and anxiety in my heart feel so real. I have never felt so worried before. It was almost like I have fear in marriage. I was just so scared. “We’re here, Madam,” he announced. Astounded, I looked at man sitting on the driver’s seat. The look on his face tells me that he’s not kidding, but I genuinely felt the need for him to tell me that he’s kidding right now. I am not fucking ready for Pete’s sake. I panicked when he exited the car, walking around to open the door for me. I mentally decided to slap him as soon as I got out of here. He can't seem to read the refusal on my face. He’s such an asshole. I swear, he’s fired after this. With a forced confidence, I exited the car, my white dress flowing gracefully with my every movement. I glanced at the door when I saw a familiar man waiting for me. He smiled as soon as he saw me. I gulped. This is so fucking surreal. The next thing I heard were the flashing cameras of the reporters and the sounds of people rushing to me before everything went black.