Chapter 11 8: Tears At Night

"What do you think you re trying to do, Fareeda? How dare you matchmake my daughter with a gateman? Is it because you re getting married to him and you didn t want that? That s why you re resorting to making my daughter take your stead?" She furiously asked and turned to Asma u that was still crying beside Fareeda on the sofa, "And you, you have no self-respect or love, right? How can you, a daughter of a billionaire confess your love to a man? He can be everyone, and it will still be wrong. But to a gateman? Asma u I ll make sure your tears have turned to blood today!" She roughly pulled her up and Fareeda held her wrist before she stood up. "Have you thought of the possibility that this lovely daughter of yours loves the gateman? I m not trying to push her to him, yes, I know I don t love him. No, I can t even love him my whole life, and I can t get married to the gateman because I have the man I love…" "That stupid guy you call a boyfriend? We all know that he s never going to marry you, because how could he? When he has gotten all a husband gets from his wife from you for free? Moreover, the only god knew the number of babies you ve aborted for him. Aren t you ashamed to call him the man you love? Listen, you might ve not known this, but the man that loves you will never try to take advantage of you without making sure he get married to you. That s not loving, he s just taking advantage of what you foolishly call as one." She glared hard at her, appreciating the way her words had struck Fareeda and she seemed to be taken aback. She shrugged off her hand from Asma u s wrist and pulled her out of the room, making sure a hard knock landed on the crown of her head before they left the room. Fareeda slumped back on the sofa and for the first time in her life, she thought about the kind of relationship she had with Adam. She had always known that it wasn t right, but the actual truth and never been painted to her like Ummah s words did today. What they were doing alone was enough to tell her that he didn t love her, not to talk about the way he treated her as though she wasn t important in his life. Maybe she wasn t, after all. She picked her to call without thinking twice and dialled his number, she had nearly given up about him picking up when he did. "Hello? What is it now?" Was this the right way to talk to the woman that loved you and you also claimed to love? She softly shook her head and anger began to rise in her throat. "I called to talk to you, Adam, and don t you dare end the call on me or talk whatever you want to say to me, you just have to listen and after that, you can do whatever you feel like doing, I don t care. But before I start, are you together with her? Because I need some privacy now." She gulped down a huge lump in her throat. She could remember that night clearly as though it happened just now. They left to the club with Adam after she had fought with Mujaheed to open the gate for her, if she had known what the night had in store for her, she would have gone back to her room and slept soundly. "What are you talking about? I thought you apologize for doing what you did that day?" He asked in a voice that was laced with anger and Fareeda chuckled, a humourless chuckle that would portray what she was feeling in her heart. "Have you ever realized that you ve never apologized to me even when you re wrong, Adam? And you re saying now I shouldn t bring up the issue of your girlfriend that we accidentally met at the club and we got into a fight with her? Are you asking me to shut up and like a weakling, apologize to you about your girlfriend that threw me down the stairs and had me lost my baby? What if it was my life not that of my child?! Would you have still demanded an apology from me?!" She clamoured at the pitch of her voice while tears immediately washed down her cheeks. Now that she spoke about it, she felt disgusted with herself. If someone will hear about this, no one could believe that she could stoop this low because of a man. "Fareeda…what are…" she cut him off before he continued, she needed to get everything out of her chest. And today was the day she was finally going to pour everything she had ever locked in her heart without leaving anything in it. "Now, you listen to me. I don t care what you ll think about me or our relationship after this but you have to listen to me and I don t want you to interrupt me until I m done. You ve never loved me, Adam, that s the fact I ve come to terms with a very long time. You just love my money and my body, and I dare you to argue with me on this. I m not as stupid as you think, Adam, I m not patient either, but I have to be both with you because I love you, but I m afraid that wouldn t be enough to sustain our relationship. I might be in love with you, but I can t remember seeing someone die because they have parted way with the ones they love." Staring at her reflection was making herself pity herself and she slowly took off her glasses, enjoying the darkness that she filled her orbs if not for the blurry lights of her room that were still on. "You ve never respected me, my opinion has never mattered to you. My choice has always been wrong, what I say or do doesn t count because you re so sure I ll run back to you even if I claim to have been furious with you. How many times have I aborted a child for you? This is the third time in our three years of relationship and all the mistakes were done because you were either drunk to use protection or you don t want to. You feel like you own my body, you ve humiliated me times without number in public and private, and also, upon all these things, you ve never apologized to me. But instead, I ve always been the one to apologize to you, why? Because I m the one in love with you." "You told me that me suggesting we get married was ridiculous because I of all people should know that you aren t ready to settle down anytime soon. And be it you are, I m sure you wouldn t love to settle down with someone like me, huh? The lady you ve used over and over again. I can t do this anymore, it hasn t been easy but I think the sooner I accept this the better it will be for both of us." She ended the call without thinking twice, her whole body reverberated with her tears as she placed her head on her brought up knees. She knew if she had a friend, she must ask her what she had seen in Adam to be this in love with him. But she couldn t point a finger at what she was I love with, in him. Since the first day, she saw him in a restaurant four years ago and he walked up to her and asked for her number, she fell in love with him. She was back home after she was done with her bachelor's degree and they became good friends with him. After she left back to New York for her masters, they officially started dating and she couldn t think of anyone but him. She always paid for his tickets to visit her in New York and whenever she had the chance, she always came back to Taraba for him until she was done with her masters and finally came back home for good. Realizing that if she stayed in her room, the shortage of air will likely suffocate her to death, she stood up while clearing her tears even though more gushed down her cheeks. She didn t need her glass, because she was going to wet it with her tears and she wouldn t see either. She would just go to the hut without it and thought for a few minutes before she felt better in her heart and she would be back. She had always gone there without her glasses, especially at night, she could as well do that now. She found her way out of her room and closed the door behind her. There were times when if she went to the club with Adam, after she was back she would find her room open, which she was certain was Ummah s doing or Alhaji checking her belongings to see if she had something bad with her. She had already changed the locks, and she made sure none of them got a hold of her keys. She locked the door and with her hands on the railings, found her way down the stairs until she was in the downstairs living room. Doing this had taken her mind off Adam and his thoughts because all she thought about now was how not to fall and how to successfully go to the hut without being hurt. She was opening the door to get out when she heard Alhaji s voice, "Who s there?" He asked and walked to where she was. Fareeda quickly used her palms and cleared the remaining strands of her tears. She might not see his face, but she knew he would see hers and would love it if he saw tears on her face. She waited until she saw his blurry vision standing before her, "It s me, I m going to the hut." She informed without waiting for him to ask because she was sure he would ask. "This late at night? And without your glass? Tell me where exactly you re going to, Fareeda." Yes, he had never believed her, she was used to that. But couldn t he see that she wasn t in the mood to fight with him? Why won t he leave her alone as he had always done? "I want to clear my head, I don t need my glass because I ve always gone there without it and came back safely. It s about me, not anyone else and I m not going anywhere. If I was, I wouldn t have hesitated to tell you, but you can follow me if you think I m lying." She walked out of the house without waiting for his response because she knew he would just make her even angrier and when she started crying again, it would be hard for her to stop. Alhaji stared at her retreating and shook his head, he brought his phone out of his breast pocket and decided to call Mujaheed. As she said, he didn t believe her, but if he followed her now he might end up breaking one of her bones because he was sure she would have to anger him. "Hello, Mujaheed?" He said softly after he picked up.