Chapter 19: Understanding Freedom

Evie Stanton When I woke up the next morning, Thane wasn't there. My mind tried to process what happened as I watched the filtering light from the rising sun slowly peek through the cabana. Last night, all we had were the dim lights from the oil lanterns to keep us company. But now it was a new day, and with that were so many possibilities. Last night. Thinking of my night with Thane made my entire body flush. A rush of heat climbed under my skin, that made me ache for more. A heat that made me want him over and over again. Naked from the waist down, Thane touched me and made me feel things I never knew I could. And we hadn't even had sex. The idea of being joined with him. Lost in him. Thane lost in me. In the sensations I could give him. A flash from last night clouded my vision. Knelt between his legs as I tasted him. Watched him break apart from my mouth. The realization I could bring him to his knees empowered me. I wanted to do it again. Explore his body. Find out all the little things that make him tick. There was something about him that made my heart soar, which was crazy compared to how things had been when we had first met. Yeah, I had thought about him then. But now… Arousal flushed my core, and I rolled over, face down on the pillow. I should feel shame for what happened. Pretend like I didn't see the edge of the universe when I crashed down, panting and delirious. Pretend like every single noise Thane made didn't tighten me like a wound-up spring. He enjoyed it as much as I did. But I couldn't feel ashamed. Nothing Thane had done made me feel like I should. Quite the opposite. I felt exquisite. Beautiful. Every bit the confident woman I wanted to be. It was like I had laid dormant in my body for so long, and now I was waking up from my lifelong slumber. I never wanted to go back to sleep. The sheets smelled like him. Musk and brine. Wait. I don't remember coming to bed. In fact, I think I fell asleep on his couch downstairs. Did he carry me up to bed? The thought warmed my chest. I must have been so exhausted I didn't notice. Did he hold me? My pulse quickened. No. This was getting too intimate. Any day now, Thane would send me back, and I would have to forget this ever happened. But after last night, how could I forget? My chest tightened as I remembered how much care he took in cleaning me off. Asking me if I was okay. Making me feel better. That my emotions were completely valid and normal. If I didn't know any better, I would think he cared about me, too. Slowly, I sat up in bed, wondering where Thane went. Why did he leave me alone? Even on the ship, I always had a chaperone. Dressed in only a loose shirt, I walked downstairs to see a piece of parchment on his two-person kitchen table. Evie, I didn't want to wake you. I have some business to attend to this morning. I trust that you won't try to escape by jumping off the pier. You should be past that, considering you can't swim. My lips curled into a half smile. Help yourself to a bath and some fruit from the roof garden. I'll bring some clothing for you later, but in the meantime, you can wear anything of mine. Stay put, I'll be back early this afternoon. Sincerely, Thane. After reading the letter over a few times, I found myself impressed with his penmanship. For a pirate, his handwriting looked like it belonged to a noble. I placed the note down, a smile on my face. A bath actually sounded wonderful. Snooping around his cabana in search of his bathroom, I contemplated what would happen when he came home. As much as the idea of going home was sort of enticing… I didn't want it. I didn't want to go back to the life I had lived. In fact, my attachment to him was growing and that left me with uncertainty I wasn't ready to face. Taking a gander around, I noticed how much Thane certainly liked dragon paraphernalia, but I assumed it had something to do with his pirate persona. It took me back to when we first met, how everyone in the tavern seemed scared of him. While I was sure most of his reputation was well-earned, I knew the softer side. The same side of him that scared away those men in the alleyway and charmed me with his smile. Eventually, I found his bathroom. The tub, and water were hookup similar to the ship's desalination process, but on a much larger scale. Like Katarina had full rein of the whole island to craft a water system. I needed to ask her about it. Desmond gave me a basic understanding of what she did, but I wanted to know more. The nitty gritty details like if she used steel piping or if it was plant-based. Perhaps cast iron? Where did she get her materials? Reading about engineering felt different from hearing about it from an actual engineer. I couldn't remember the last time I took a proper bath. They were concerned with water preservation on the ship, so the closest thing I got to a bath was a sponge bath. It did the job, I suppose, but I loved how relaxing being submerged in warm water was. After undressing, I dropped my dirty clothes into a laundry hamper and got into the tub, soaking and relaxing with nice-smelling soaps. It felt nice to be alone, lost in my thoughts. Even at the castle, I rarely received time alone. My mind wandered, thinking of Thane's hands. How big and hot they felt against my skin. How good they felt curling against the sensitive spot inside me. A bolt of heat shot down between my legs. This demanding beast inside of me stirred awake again. Beneath the bubbles, I reached down, wanting to feel that rush again. Wanting to remind myself how Thane felt. My eyelids fluttered as I imagined him in the tub with me, his unusual eyes boring into me. Hungry as his hands slid between my thighs. My thumb brushed my clit, trying to remember how he did it. I gasped, back bowing as a jolt of pleasure shot through me. I kept rubbing it under the water, my other hand sliding down the side of my throat, imagining his lips pressed against it. My free hand slid down my torso as I rolled one of my sensitive nipples between my fingers. I wanted him to touch me there, too. I didn't take my shirt off last night because I felt insecure, and nervous about baring all of myself to his eyes. But now, I wanted to watch Thane devour me, and feel his hands and his mouth on every bit of skin. And I would have returned the favor. Kissed his chest, and nibbled on his neck. Splay my hands out against his chest, tracing his dragon tattoo with my tongue. My hand slid between my thighs to join the other, two fingers slipping inside of me. A loud moan slipped past my lips, and I closed my eyes, imagining him moving his hips against me, filling me with his cock. I curled my fingers like Thane had done last night, and I yelped, the fantasy of being fucked felt like too much. But I wanted more. My hand wasn't enough. His hands did a much better job. I moved faster, my wrist aching as I pleasured myself. My mind replayed last night, wishing he would have had me. Showed me what it was like to be with a man who cared about pleasing me. So even when I was taken home, I could have that memory. My first time wouldn't be a lifeless, pleasureless romp. Then I realized I didn't want another man to please me. I wanted Thane. With a cry, I broke apart in the water, panting and oversensitive. I slid my fingers out and gave myself a minute to gather myself before getting out. Thane's clothes were definitely way too big on me, but when I was on the ship, Rio showed me tricks on how to roll and fold the garments so they fit a little bit better. Not that I minded too much, wearing Thane's clothing was like wrapping him around me all day long. The scent of Thane on his clothing wrapped around me like a warm embrace. It was then that I realized what I had been too conflicted to tell him so long ago. I wanted to stay with him. Wanted to spend my time with him on his ships forever, if it meant I could be with him. These past few weeks have been the most exciting of my life. From the freedom of the wide open ocean to the little playful jabs from the crew. Playing chess with Katarina. Letting William giggle and play with me as if I was the most interesting person in the world. I liked it here. I liked being treated like an equal instead of looking down from a pedestal in a poofy dress that didn't suit me at all. Confined in a corset. Expected to be perfect. Silent. Thane never wanted me to be silent. The way he laughed when I swore instead of telling me that ladies don't talk like that. I didn't have to be anything else but me. Fuck, I felt so free. Putting my shoes on, I decided to find Thane. I needed to tell him the truth, no matter what I had to say to make him believe I was serious. Opening the door, determination clear on my face I found a new sense of purpose as I prepared for what I was about to do. A grin split across my face at how they would train me to be the best pirate there ever was. They'd probably teach me how to swim first. My feet padded down the walkway, looking toward the pier. No one was over there but a few fishermen. I looked around, seeing if I recognized anyone. The island was bustling with movement. Farming. Some sailors I recognized from the ship were drinking in an open cabana. "Afternoon, Evie!" one of them shouted toward me. "Afternoon! Have you seen Thane anywhere?" I asked, walking closer to the men I had shared close proximity with for two weeks. "Cap? He's over between the hills, by the bay," he replied, taking a drink of his liquor. Another sailor elbowed him hard under the table. "How about you stay over here with us, honey? We'll pour you a drink until Cap is available." I shook my head. "Thank you, but I should really talk to him." The first sailor took a step in front of me. "Really, stay with us. He doesn't like to be interrupted during business." This felt odd. I sidestepped him. "I'll come back for that drink later." The men muttered something serious among themselves as I walked in the direction of the hills, opening up toward the bay and the glittering ocean. There wasn't much of a beach, so I assumed a huge dropoff in the water was located there. Even though Avalon was an island, it wasn't nearly this beautiful. Avalon constantly smelled like smog and industry. Nothing like the fresh air here. Standing near the mouth of the water were Desmond, Rio, and Katarina. An impressive pile of gold was in front of Katarina as she noted it in a parchment journal. But no sign of Thane. "Hi, Desmond!" I shouted across the open field. All eyes snapped to me. Then back toward each other. Horror slowly settled over Katarina's expression, and she looked over to the bay, standing up to get to me. Desmond was faster. He ran over to me, gripping my forearm hard. "You can't be here right now, Evie," Desmond said. "What?" I asked. I didn't understand why everyone acted so strangely. "It's fine. I'll go. Have you seen Thane?" "We will talk later. You need to leave." Desmond's voice sounded stilted like he was worried. "Why? What's going on?" I looked behind him to Katarina and Rio, who were staring at the open bay, faces painted in powerless concern. Desmond gripped me hard, hurting my arms. "Go. Now." "Let go. You're hurting me," I whispered, eyes watering. He let go of me. His eyebrows raised, and he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Evie. Please come with me." My lips pressed into a thin line. "Fuck that. I'm not going anywhere with you." Desmond reached for me again. "Don't fucking touch me," I hissed, shoving his hands away. "Evie, please. You need to leave," he pleaded, but I wasn't having any of that. A massive cracking noise sounded from behind me. Like a roar from a tidal wave. I turned around, watching a giant creature crack through the ocean's surface. Two wings stretched upwards from its back, black with a silvery, glossy hue. My eyes locked onto horribly sharp teeth, a large satchel of gold hanging between its maw. Scales—of navy blue—coated its body. Iridescent and shifting from navy blue to black. Two golden horns sat on top of its head, coiled like a magnificent crown. It was breathtaking, but it wasn't what attracted me most. It was its eyes. I knew those eyes… They were Thane's eyes. The dragon's eyes locked onto me, pinning me with that cold gaze as a scream ripped through my throat I hadn't been expecting. Desmond quickly gripped my shoulder, but I ducked down, scratching and clawing at his arm. He yelped at my attack, but I couldn't hear him. My pulse was too loud. Suddenly, this island felt too small. I couldn't run. I couldn't get away. I stepped back in a quick, jerky movement, my mind racing with self-preservation. Terror ate at me, blinding me. I couldn't see two feet in front of me. I tripped over foliage, and the sensation of twisting my ankle was lost on me. Before I knew what was happening, I ran blindly as fast as my feet could take me. I had to get away. I needed to get away. "Evie!"