Chapter 7

Although I wasn't so aroused that I couldn't control myself, I would be humiliated if he answered the phone or left at this moment. His Adam's apple bobbed as he immediately hung up, resuming his kisses on my neck and collarbone. But the phone rang again the next second. I knew that if he didn't take this call, neither of us would find peace. I turned my face away. "You should answer it," I whispered. With an uneasy look on his face, he pulled the blanket over me and took the phone to the balcony. Even though he had closed the sliding door, I could still hear his deep voice. "I can't come right now. Ask the nurse to help you. I didn't say that I wouldn't take care of you. I know it's because of me that... Okay, stop crying. I'll come over now..." After that, I didn't hear any more talking, just the click of a lighter. Chris was smoking. This was the first time he was smoking at home. It took about ten minutes for Chris to come back. The air was tinged with the smell of tobacco. His gaze seemed uneasy as he looked at me. "Um, I have to go out for a while. Jewel is alone at the hospital. There's no one there to take care of her…" Remarkably, he didn't lie or hide it from me. My body felt cold under the covers. "Do you think it's right for a man to take care of her?" "I-I'm going to find her a nurse," Chris explained while straightening his clothes I had disheveled. I knew I couldn't keep him here. Embarrassment and sadness welled up from my heart to the tip of my nose. "Chris." "Hmm?" He looked up at me worriedly. He was probably worried I'd cling to him and not let him go. Chris, the business magnate of Judgeton, had never been afraid of anything, but now he was nervous and unsure of what to do in front of me. At this moment, the words stuck in my throat wouldn't come out. I managed a bitter smile. "Be careful on the road." After saying that, I pulled the covers over myself and closed my eyes. After a moment, I heard Chris' footsteps approaching, followed by the warmth of his breath near my forehead. When his lips left my skin, he whispered, "I'm sorry..." So he knew his actions would hurt me, yet he still did it. Perhaps my constant tolerance made him think that hurting me a little every now and then was no big deal. Chris left, but the fire he ignited in me hadn't been extinguished. I threw myself into the bathtub. When Lisa called, the passion had completely subsided as I lay in the tub, lost in thought. "Why is Chris at the ob-gyn? Who is this woman named Jewel to him?" Lisa asked. I wasn't surprised Lisa found out. And so, I told her everything. Lisa exploded in an instant. "A man taking care of a widow? What is he thinking? Doesn't he know there's always gossip around widows? Why does he have to get involved in this mess?" Even Lisa thought it wasn't appropriate for him to do so. Since she was my close friend, I didn't mind revealing that embarrassing incident that happened just a while ago. "What would you think if I told you he left me halfway through?" Lisa paused for a few seconds. "You two did the deed?" "No, we only got halfway undressed." I felt like a joke when I uttered those words. "Fucking hell!" Lisa, who was usually a refined and elegant medical professional, swore. "If Chris could stop halfway through, it's either because he can't perform or—" She stopped mid-sentence, but I understood what she meant. She meant that Chris didn't love me enough. If he loved me, he wouldn't have left me in that situation. And if he loved me, he wouldn't go to another woman in the middle of the night. His late brother's widow deserved sympathy, and it was right for him to take care of her. However, he had crossed a line. "You said you were thinking of giving up on him, right? Just go and find someone better," Lisa advised. I didn't say anything. Letting go of Chris was easy, but what about Gildon Estate? Gildon Estate was my home now, and Zack and Bree treated me like their own daughter. They had raised me all these years. Bree, especially, was like my mother. She was the one who taught me what to do when I got my first period and even did my dirty laundry. Lisa understood something from my silence. "Maddie, babe, maybe we're just overthinking. Think about how good Chris has been to you all these years. He always tells people that you are his wife. Maybe he's just taking care of the widow because of his friendship with his best friend. I don't think he'd get involved with her, especially since she's pregnant. He wouldn't want to become a dad out of nowhere, right?" I thought about the way Jewel looked at Chris. "What if it's a case of unrequited love?" "What?" Lisa was surprised for a few seconds before she let out a sigh. "That's possible too. Your man is the ideal husband for many women, especially for a widow. "Which is why Chris needs to keep his distance from her. When women are vulnerable, a bit of kindness can become a lifeline they cling to." Lisa paused before adding. "I'll keep an eye on things tonight. Nothing will happen." I only remembered then that Lisa was just there for a temporary shift. "It's fine. Just go home when you're done with work. You can't watch them forever. If something's going on between them…" I thought about how strangely Chris had been acting these days. "It had probably started a long time ago." Lisa snorted. "True, but don't stress too much. If Chris betrays you, you can just break things off cleanly. You're single and ready to mingle. You can still get yourself a hot guy." I chuckled. If that happened, should I be grateful that Chris and I had never gone beyond the point of no return? I deliberately yawned and ended the call with Lisa. There was no way I could sleep tonight. Chris didn't come back until almost dawn. Since I had fieldwork today, I got up early and left before Zack and Bree woke up. I was afraid they'd ask me questions. The renovation of Chris' room was really happening, but Bree's true intention was to get Chris and me to sleep together sooner. Their hopes were dashed, which was embarrassing for me. It sometimes felt like a failure to be a woman who couldn't get a man to undress her. I received a call from Chris just as I arrived at my work partner's office around 8:00 am. Looking at the number on the screen, I fell quiet. I didn't answer the call.