Chapter 4

But according to Rosa, I had to go back to the police station in my hometown to collect the letter and the key. I noted down the address and was just about to slip the note into my phone case when I heard the door open. Shawn walked in, smelling strongly of alcohol. Before I could say anything, he lay down beside me and closed his eyes. "Mom said I have to settle down with you from now on." Hearing this, my heart dropped. Brenda had already promised me that she would let us divorce. Why had she changed her mind? Feeling uneasy, I pushed off the blanket and sat up, intending to find her and get a clear explanation. To my surprise, Shawn suddenly turned over and pulled me back, his expression stern as he scolded, "You shouldn't be out of bed now. Don't overexert yourself. You're a mother now. Be more sensible!" The concern in his voice sent a chill through my heart. I wrenched myself out of his grasp and backed away. "You… Okay. You can go back to your room. I want to sleep." Noticing my disdain, he sneered. "You just gave birth. Your body is all out of shape—do you think I would want you when I can have any woman I want?" At the beginning of my pregnancy, my doctor had told me that I wasn't getting enough nutrients and that I needed to watch my diet, or else the baby would be malnourished. In order to give birth to a healthy child, I had forced myself to eat all sorts of supplements every day and got myself to the optimum weight. Now, after birth, I had retained most of that fat around my stomach. I glanced at him without a word and lay down with my back to him. I could ask Brenda about this in the morning. In the middle of the night, I woke up groggily and found the space beside me empty. I grabbed my phone to look at the time, only to see a text from Melissa. It had been sent just three minutes ago. She sent me a picture of Shawn's side profile as he drove. She had also sent a message. "So what if you gave birth to his son? He still doesn't love you. I just came by saying that I wanted to see him, and here he is—he left with me without hesitation. You're the only one who's taking this ridiculous marriage seriously, Yvonne. You lost." She was right. I had lost—completely and utterly. Shawn would never know that the first time I had met Brenda, she had already mentioned him to me. He would never know that we had attended the same school since middle school. I'd had a crush on him for several years, always keeping watching him from afar without disturbing his life. Therefore, when Brenda had suggested that I become her daughter-in-law soon after I graduated college, I had been so happy that I hadn't slept all night. But it seemed like my happiness was built on his suffering. In that case, I would let him go—and set myself free, too. I didn't reply to Melissa's text. … I continued doing what I was supposed to do, and soon, one month flew by. During dinner, Brenda brought out divorce papers that had already been signed by Shawn. She had kept her word to me. "Roy is turning one month old tomorrow. We'll be having a celebration. Can you stay for that, at least?" she asked sadly. I shook my head. "No, thanks. I've already bought my plane tickets. I'm leaving tomorrow morning." "Then, at least see him—" "Brenda, it's up to you to look after him now," I said with a smile, not letting her finish. Realizing I had made up my mind, Brenda wiped away her tears. "Alright, then. I'll raise Roy well. Don't worry." I took the divorce papers. Just then, Shawn came downstairs. Seeing the papers, he frowned. "What's that?" I gripped the papers tightly and shook my head. "Nothing." He looked at me suspiciously, but I remained calm. Thankfully, he didn't press further. He changed the subject to the celebration the next day. "There's something I need to take care of tomorrow, so I'll be late for the party. If you need anything, ask Mom." Brenda looked at him disapprovingly. "What's more important than your son hitting an important milestone? You—" "It's alright. Do what you need to do," I told him. It didn't matter whether he was around or not, as far as Roy was concerned. After all, like me, Shawn had never once looked at his son since he had been born. Brenda looked like she wanted to say more, but I shook my head at her with a smile. … It was the day of Roy's one-month celebration, but the house wasn't as lively as it should have been. Brenda left the house with Roy in his arms. Just then, one of the maids asked, "Madam, should we wait for Mrs. Hallow?" Brenda paused and glanced toward the stairs. She shook her head, her throat constricting. What she didn't know was that I had lied to her. I had boarded my flight and left the night before.