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Chapter 56 Anxiety

The dining room is more oppressive than usual this morning. Its windowless walls covered with thick red drapery and its heavy mahogany furniture always make it feel stuffy, but tension hangs over everything in a dense fog that makes it hard to breathe and unspoken words cloud the room. The servants have made themselves scarce in an effort to escape the feeling that a storm is about to break. Zinaida is oblivious to it and no part in the atmosphere, seeing as she is still struggling to wake up; despite her elegant appearance, it is plain that Wesley has dragged her to this meal for reasons I cannot fathom. Wesley, in contrast, is on high alert, like a rabbit being stalked by a bird of prey. I can almost see such a bird--a devil-servant called Anxiety--dark and torturous, hanging over him and harrying him. Dmitri s father watches his son and me, as well as the doors, as his torturing bird watches him. What does he look for? I have no way of knowing, until such a time as he sees fit to sp

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