Chapter 02

I ran into my room and locked the door, I actually couldn't hold it back, that's why I just told it to him. Why am I just crying? And why did I just fall for my brother? There are so many boys that want to date me but my heart only wants my own brother. I just hate everything. I climbed onto bed and closed my eyes tightly but still I couldn't forget the emotionless face that he had after I confessed to him. I know I was wrong but my feelings.... I don't know and I don't want to think about it. I got up from my bed and quickly went into my bathroom and washed my face then again went to bed and closed my eyes to sleep......... ................ - Seth - I knew this thing would happen......I knew it. I was so scared to face it but finally it happened. I saw her tears and I couldn't control myself but I finally managed to act like nothing happened. She told me that she loves me but how? We're siblings from the same mother and father. I should accept that I also have some weird feelings towards her but I forced myself to forget about those feelings. Why is this happening to us? I just don't understand. I pulled my hair like an insane fucker and I had to tell her that I have someone I like but I couldn't because of the way she looked at me. Urghhh fuck.. she was so fucking beautiful black hair, hazel eyes, smooth and fair skin. FUCK I cursed because of my thoughts she's my sister and nothing will change about it. She will definitely have a boyfriend in the future but I feel uncomfortable when I think about her future and boyfriends. As her big brother I shouldn't be like this but at the same time I don't know how to forget these weird feelings I'm having towards her. Fuck.. how we became like this? I really loved her in all ways, she was just everything to me. I was the one who took care of her when she was a kid. I really liked her and loved her, she was just so cute and it made me like her even more. In my family everyone loved her more than they loved me. She was my father's life. She was the angel to this family. It shouldn't be like that but what am I thinking now? Seyah just confessed to me but I am her brother. Fuck... my mind is a fucking mess shit.. suddenly I received a call I took my phone and looked it was Eliza, Eliza was a daughter one of my father's friends and I knew she has feelings for me but I never acknowledged her because my mind was filled with Seyah. Then I answered the call "Hello" I spoke first. "Hey Seth, how are you?" She was using a sweet voice to talk to me but I actually hated her sweet voice. "Good, why did you call?" I asked as she stayed silent for a moment before she spoke. "Mmmm Seth actually I like you so can we have dinner tomorrow? I mean only you and me. Don't bring Seyah with you, I think you can understand." What the hell was that? I actually didn't have any feelings for Eliza, I should just say no. With that thought I wanted to say no but suddenly something came to my mind. I should just try because Seyah and I are impossible if I said that I'm going on a date. Seyah will definitely forget her feelings and I will try to do the same. "Okay." I said okay but my heart hurts with that thought. I didn't want to hurt Seyah. She'll definitely get hurt if she finds out that I agreed with Eliza on a date. "Really? Seth Thank you so much for giving me a chance. Let's meet tomorrow. I'll see you in the school. Byee" Eliza was so happy because I agreed with her but I feel sorry for her because I'm just using her to forget my feelings. I didn't say anything, just hung up the call. I don't wanna hurt Seyah. She's my sister but I have to force her to forget those feelings and I should also do the same. Finally I forced myself to sleep.... In the morning I woke up and washed myself, then I quickly made breakfast for Seyah and went to her room because I wanted to wake her up. I knocked her door, "Seyah, wake up, you should go to school. Come on." As soon as I finished, the door opened. I froze as I saw her. I think she's been crying all night and her eyes are red. I really felt my heart aches for her. " I'll come down." Seyah talked to me with her broken voice and closed the door. I actually don't know what to do and I was just really a pitiful man. I went downstairs and waited for Seyah. Finally she came down wearing a short frock with straps and it was designed with sunflowers. Really pretty. I found myself staring at her as if she was my girlfriend but I quickly forced myself to look away. Then Seyah came and sat down as she looked at me. "Can we go to watch beauty and beast tonight? New movie was released a few days ago." She suddenly spoke and I sighed because I thought she wouldn't talk to me but she was talking to me and that's great. "Time?" I asked her with a smile as Seyah also smiled at me. "6 p.m to 9 p.m" As soon as she told me I remembered that I agreed with Eliza to have dinner with her and she also said only me and her. Urghh "Can we go tomorrow? I have something to do tonight." I said as I looked at her.Suddenly her smile faded and she looked at me. I knew it was because this is the first time I didn't agree with her. "Why? What do you have to do?" Seyah looked at me with her beautiful eyes but they were filled with worry and hurt. "I have to go out for dinner tonight." I spoke as I looked away from her eyes. "Seth? With whom ?" Her voice filled with fear and I looked at her. Her eyes were filled with something that I couldn't read. I don't know what she was thinking but I knew she was hurt because I refused her. "Eliza.... we are going to have dinner together." Seyah dropped the sandwich as soon as I told her. Then she looked at me and I could tell that she was about to cry but she forced her tears to not to come out. "Why? Why suddenly?" I heard her broken voice. "Not suddenly Seyah... I just agreed with her because I should just have a girlfriend. I'm already eighteen" I let out a fake smile as I spoke. My heart hurts because I knew it would hurt her so much but I didn't have a choice. "Seth, you said you don't like anyone. Is it because I said I love you yesterday?" Seyah's tears came out. My eyes also turned red because of her tears. Why am I just hurting her? She's my only sister. "No...just don't think about it Seyah. Finish your breakfast." I forced myself to stay calm. "Alright, I don't love you Seth. Please don't go with her. I don't like her." My body froze as she said she doesn't love me. Some strange feelings that mixed with hurt ran through my body because of her words. She was doing everything to stop me but if I didn't go it would really be a problem because Seyah will develop her feelings even more. I knew that Eliza and Seyah were not good with each other. Urghh. What should I do. Fuck. I again looked at Seyah and she was crying.... "I promised her Seyah. I'll go with you tomorrow." I just betrayed my heart. Seyah just didn't say anything, just lowered her head as she stood up to leave. "Finish your breakfast Seyah." I said as she sat down again and started to eat. She was really obedient when it came to me. I loved her for that. She quickly ate everything and waited for me. I quickly finished my breakfast and washed the dishes. "Let's go." With that I took her hand and left the house. Seyah didn't look at me the entire time. She just walked and my heart was really aching because of the thing I just did. As soon as we entered the school Eliza came to me with a big smile but her smile wasn't as beautiful as Seyah's. "Good morning Seth, Can you come at 6 p.m because I want to watch a movie too." Eliza giggled as she spoke to me. I saw she looked at Seyah as she smirked at her. Seyah just looked at me with a hurt look. I didn't want to see that look on her face because it hurts me so I looked away. "Okay." I said as Eliza smiled with me. Then I saw the look on Seyah's face and she was just so broken and her beautiful eyes filled with tears but they never came out.