Chapter 3: "Preparing for the Getaway"

It was a golden afternoon when the sun peeped through the windows of Alex’s loft, making the shadows dance across the room and making things messy. Paintings at different levels of abstraction were propped against walls and floors, and brushes and paint tubes were scattered all over. The smell of the turpentine and fresh coffee filled the air, making it even more familiar to Alex as if it were his home. Amidst the confusion of art that surrounded her, Alex felt a stir of excitement. The next morning, he and Taylor would be driving to the mountains to spend the weekend there. The idea made him happy but, at the same time, scared the living daylights out of him. He looked at the phone, which was half hidden under the sketches. Just when I expected it, it vibrated, and I received a new message. The name tag ‘Taylor’ flashed on the screen. His heart somersaulted as he read, Hello, How are you? I hope you are all set for the trip. I am really excited for tomorrow. Smiling, he quickly came back with, “Not yet, but getting there!” He added, “Looking forward to it too!” before realizing that he still had his thumb on the send button. Should he add something more? Anything suggesting internal conflict in the man? Ultimately, he did not do it but pressed the send button before he could change his mind. Alex placed his phone on the table, stood up, and went to his closet to take a duffel bag. He started to pack; he threw warm sweaters, jeans, and t-shirts into the bag. The cabin that they had hired was located in the mountains, so it was mandatory to wear layers of clothes. While packing, he got lost in thoughts of his time spent with Taylor and their friendship. He recalled how they first met in a dense college art course they both were enrolled in. The only person who laughed at his tacky Picasso joke was Taylor, and the two were good friends from then on. He thought about the all-night cramming, the dream that you have for each other, and the support when the going gets tough. Now, everything feels different. Taylor was new; her gaze at him, the thrill of their hands touching—all were engrossing, thrilling, and terrifying at the same time. Alex wondered about the words that were said at The Beanery with Lena. Her words echoed: “Sometimes you have to take a chance,” she said. He understood what she was saying; however, the idea of losing Taylor as a friend made him nauseous. What if he told her how he feels and she doesn't feel the same way? Would they be able to continue being friends if either of them were to discover all of this information? However, what if she felt the same way? The idea alone sent his heart racing faster. He thought of having Taylor’s hand in his and walking through the forest, cuddling by the fire, and perhaps even. . . He looked up and banished the thought with a shake of his head. It was pointless to get carried away with what he was doing. Changing locations at his desk, Alex saw his open sketch pad. The latest drawing was just a chaotic mess of geometrical figures and heavy black lines, which, for some reason, reflected his suffering. For a moment, he stood still, then shut the book, put it in the bag, and fastened it. Perhaps if he moved to a different place, he would be able to find the solution to the problem and look at it from a different angle. After some time, silence enveloped the whole attic, and the only sounds that could be heard were those coming from the city. His phone buzzed again. Taylor's message read, ‘Will we get a chance to see any animals? I hope we at least see a deer!’ Chuckling, he said, “Knowing our luck, we will probably end up seeing a bear! But yeah, it should be fun. I will take my sketch pad; maybe I’ll draw us a deer if we don’t see one.”. Her instant reply was, "Okay, okay, no bears! But I am not ready to outrun a bear if I meet one!” Alex burst into laughter, with all the tensions freeing their hold on his shoulders. This was why he loved Taylor's capacity to make jokes even during pressure moments and make pressure moments seem less pressing. He stopped for a moment at that concept. Love. He cared about Taylor, a friend, more than anything he had ever known in this life. This admission, even to himself, exhilarated him and, at the same time, frightened him. Having packed his belongings, the young man put shaving cream, toothpaste, a toothbrush, and a weathered copy of “The Alchemist” inside the duffel and rolled it to the side of the door. He stood and looked around. The sun was setting, and everything was illuminated in the warm, somewhat surreal light. It was a perfect evening to speak about the possibilities and the new start. Bored and fidgety, Alex got up and took his keys to go outside. The noise of New York’s streets was as loud as ever to greet him. Yellow taxis blare their horns in traffic, and people walk through the city wrapped up in their thoughts. The city had always been his inspiration; the vibe of the city gave him ideas. But tonight became too much; he felt like the buildings and people were crushing him. Automatically, Alex realized that he was going to Central Park. For him, the park was a sanctuary, a place where he could go and be free from the clamor of the world. When he passed through an impressive gate, the transformation was noted. Urban noises disappeared and were replaced by the sound of the leaves and people’s giggles. Alex was walking around, disoriented. He had his mind set on the weekend that was to come. What will take place at the cabin? Would he gather the nerve to discuss his emotions with Taylor? Or would they act as if there was no change at all? This uncertainty made him anxious, and eagerness and fear rolled into one ball of nerves in his stomach. With his mind engrossed in deep consideration, Alex nearly failed to notice a figure that looked like her on the bench close by. This was Lena, with her red hair, which shone under the fast-setting sun as she drew. She looked up and smiled at him. Well, I fancy seeing you here,’ she remarked, and patted the seat next to her. Alex sat down, and he felt quite chuffed and somewhat shocked. ‘I had to take a breather,’ he said. Lena nodded knowingly. “It is good for that. This city, at times, can be quite overwhelming.” They remained in comfortable silence as they observed the park clear out. The air had become cool as it was already evening, and the onset of autumn started to be felt. There was a sound of a breeze blowing above, and in the distance, a saxophone played sad notes. Lena looked at the man and tilted her head to the side in response to a question. ”Well, are you ready for your big trip?” Alex shrugged. “Quite ready, I guess. Well, as ready as I’ll ever be, it is... complicated.” Lena nodded, understanding. ‘Emotions are always rather,’ she whispered. ‘But sometimes you have to move forward, Alex. You cannot be stagnant in life. ’ Lena's smile was gentle. “You will not know if you do not try. ” And even if the attempt is not fruitful, at least one will know the truth. One cannot continue living in the gra He sighed. “I know, it just freaks me out. What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if I screw it all up?” y area. Alex nodded. He liked that she was so straightforward with him. Lena was always a lady who could not beat around the bush or get to the point. He gazed at the park and the skyline of the city with the last remaining light of dusk. It was beautiful, but seemed to be viewed through a veil of mist. "Yes, you are,” I replied as he took a deep breath and said, ‘I can’t keep on lying to Taylor and to myself.‘ They spoke for hours on art, life, and all the things that come in between. As night set and lamps in the park came on, Alex rose from his seat, feeling lighter. "Thanks, Lena; I needed that.” ‘Anytime,’ she said, getting up from the chair. “Good luck, Alex. Despite everything, just tell the truth.” They said goodbye and embraced each other, and then Alex saw Lena going away, hugging a sketchbook. He faced home, head full of thoughts but in a state of more calmness. When Alex got to his building, he felt the energy to go on with the day. He had some anxiety over the weekend, but there was enthusiasm at the same time. The next day would be something different in any case, good or bad. He wished it would take him and Taylor to where they ought to get to. With a deep breath, he entered his building. Uncertainty lay ahead, but for the first time in a while, Alex felt ready to face it. Climbing to his loft, he silently promised himself that this weekend he would be brave. He would be honest. And maybe, just maybe, he would find the clarity he'd been searching for.