Chapter 8 Asher encounter

Chapter 8 Find me in your heart I cleared my throat. I repeated that until I felt a little calm. "I just need to give something to Mr. Antonio Felix," I said and immediately handed the files to the man who also welcomed me. "I m leaving," I added. I turned around and continued praying that he never called me again, so I suddenly bit my lower lip when I heard the man s voice on my back. "I really need to talk to you," Asher pleaded. I couldn t predict his facial expression from the tone of his voice, nor did I look back yet. "Alessia —" I can be grateful enough when my cellphone rang, flashing Zoe s name on the screen. I carefully answered the call and started to walk away, ignoring the man who had been on my back, waiting. I shook my head, reminding myself that I didn t have to be scared and I didn t have to let myself be in misery again. But then, very few of us like running. We don t want torture in life anymore, and we know that there are trials that we alone face. We struggle with trials and feel overwhelmed by heaven and earth. With the little trial we experience, we gradually become discouraged. It s as if we re telling ourselves that it s even better than we haven t lived, that the best thing that can be done is to end life. But we are unaware that only that test brings us to a life of meaning and significance. We may stumble on our way, but we will be guided on the right path if we get up immediately and learn from the stumbling. We do not realize that our prostration is a great blessing, especially since it becomes a school for us to learn gradually. In our journey, the different situations we face it can be fun, it can also be sad. It is sad when someone is lost in our lives, especially when we are so sure that the old organization can never be restored. Happy when we can be with our loved ones. But in these matters, how we deal with those situations will determine what kind of life awaits us. If our loved ones let us know, does that mean heaven and earth will cover us? If we fail and our dream is reached, does it mean the end of the world. We hold on to our lives. There are only two things we can do. We may be bound by bad things and feel hopeless. That cannot be changed, and we will only wait for death. Or we choose that that trial is only temporary and we only have to face it because we know it is finite. "Just behind the darkest clouds, you will find the sun still shining." Not all seasons are rainy. Not all times are shady. Nor are we aware that with the change of time, our being becomes perfect. Like a butterfly, we just went through various stages before we had wings. Life is also a metamorphosis with a stage followed. You cannot insist on the thing you want because it is not yet time. Similar to life, the more trials passed, the more it takes on color and becomes full of personality. Even higher than before, it overcame the pains that life goes through. The people we meet in our lives are not accidents. They were not an accident because they played a big role, even when we bought salt in the store, the child we left behind, and the person we met inside the ship. I know that God destined us to know them because they are part of the story of our lives. The end of the story of our lives would not be complete if we did not interact with them, and no one played the role of the character who would make up the story. We are only lucky if we can spend a long time with the people we know. There are people whose role they play in our lives is only temporary, with whom we can be with them for a short time because that is the only role that God has in them. Nonetheless, importantly, they leave a good imprint on our hearts and characters. The lesson and experience we have with that person will live on in our memory until our last breath. Like the people we temporarily spend our lives with, there is a limit. But these things give us the strength to continue our journey on the earth s surface. We can go back in time and remember that this person taught us the meaning of life. We can remember the wonderful moments with that person. I sighed because of my thoughts that I can t seem to forget what happened, which I totally hate. "What? Did you meet Asher? What happened? What did he say? Did you talk?" I had a bad day, but when I heard that friend s questions, I couldn t help but laugh. "You put more stress on me, Zoe. Everything s fine." I went to the nearby coffee shop before heading straight back to the office. "As if I m going to talk to that man, no!" Contrary to the words coming out of my mouth to what it really feels like. After all these acts, I am still trying to ask myself who else I am fooling at the end of the day. At the end of the day, I still have to accept that I can convince Zoe. I can convince the man. . . but never myself. At the end of the day, I will remain cowardly — cowardly to face the reason behind and the truth. While sipping the iced coffee, everything I went through gradually came back to me. I didn t even know how to get through them then, but as William Shakespeare said, "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves." We chose our destiny. To either succeed or to fail is always our fault and our choice. Destiny is in our hands to shape and mold into our own, unique future. So if I have one thing to regret most of all, it s about myself. I don t want to make another stupid decision. In fact, I want to continue in the present without my past tormenting me. Even I was getting tired as well. How often have I convinced myself that I will stop the man, that I will never hope again, but I always find myself longing for him? The next moment, I want him. I want him to hold me, to welcome me again, but next time I would almost drive him away and curse the man. I must be out of my mind, and I am incredibly disgusted with that thing. One time, I wanted to hug him tight. The second, I want him to rot in hell for ruining my trust, my life, everything. When I saw him hugging a woman, I thought everything would be okay. I thought I just had to accept that we were not for each other and that I could meet so many other men. But it was easier said than done. It took me five years. In those five years, I closed myself to any other person and thing. I didn t look for him. I didn t know what kind of life he was facing — I didn t let him explain. I am scared. It s scary to leave someone you never thought you would lose, but it s even scarier to feel cheated on. It s scary to see the person you love hugging someone else. I was just able to mess up my hair while thinking of another solution. I can t be like this. I can t just run away when the man turns to me. I can t just run when I want to and pretend. I sighed when I received a call from Zoe. This woman has been around and never stops calling me. "What is it?" I laughed when I answered it. "This is unlike you. Why are you so clingy?" "Go back to the office, Alessia," she pleaded softly. I don t know if the woman was still there at the meeting that Engineer Dionysus says, but she doesn t seem to be enjoying what is happening because of the tone of her voice. "I will," I replied, then looked at my wristwatch. "I just hung out at the coffee shop first. It s tiring to see that man s face." The woman on the other line was silent for a long time. "Alessia?" I immediately arranged my seat because of the sudden seriousness of my friend s voice. I m still not really used to it. "What is it–" "What if he didn t really cheat on you?" Zoe asked directly. "What if Asher didn t really cheat on you, Alessia?" My silence became continuous for the next few minutes. I want to speak up; that s the truth. It s just that every time I open my mouth, my brain is blanked on what my answer might be. "What if he really cheated on me?" I return the question. Perhaps, it was the safest. Because of that question, I seem to be constantly questioning what I believe. "You don t need him, right?" I was even more confused at what my friend s action was, but I understood it better. She, among anyone, saw it all. She was with me through all that, graced me with all the support. She was just as heartbroken as me before. "You won t let him hurt you again, right, Alessia?" I chose to laugh rather than answer. I took the bag I was carrying then stood out. "We ll talk later. I m on my way to the office. Don t worry that much, okay?" I quickly got into the taxi when I got out. When the call stopped, I put the cellphone on the chair before looking out of the window. This is what is difficult for me. When I started to imagine a few possibilities again, my brain was also continuously flying into such things I know are impossible. After five years, I still can t understand everything. Why and how did the situation get to this point. . . how did the destiny of the two of us become entangled? I sighed when I felt someone shaking my shoulder. I was confused and woke up. "We are here, Ma am." I hurriedly handed over the payment to him then immediately dropped off. Now I feel like I am cruel to myself? Am I eating well these past few days? No. Am I sleeping well? Neither. All because of that Asher Felix– "What are you doing here?" My expression changed automatically, from bewildered Alessia to being cold with sharp stares. I did not stop in front of the man. I continued walking and never turned around again. I just let him follow me even though we were able to get into the office where Tom and Lyn were. "I. . . I ll explain later. Where is your cellphone?" Tom glared at me, asking what our 'boss was doing in our place with a meaningful look. Instead of answering, I immediately turned to the man. "Why, then? Why are you asking for my phone?" "C-Can you let me do a quick call? I needed to call–" he said, and I immediately yelled at him. "Are you drunk?" I dropped my bag on the table there. "You re wealthy, but you can t afford a load? Fool yourself." But the man looks more desperate to find my cellphone. He immediately rushed to my bag and, without hesitation, dug inside, which caused me to keep shouting. The two co-workers there were just as shocked when I pushed the man away in front of my bag. I searched for the cellphone myself. It took me a few minutes, but I didn t see a single shadow of it. "My cell phone. . ." This is just a lucky day, indeed. "Where s my cellphone?" "Huh? Where is your cellphone?" The man even imitated what I said—the man who never fails to bring misfortune into my life.