Chapter 11 ASH

Chapter 11 Find me in your heart "You are Asher, aren t you?" ????He looked at me for a long time, then nodded. I laughed awkwardly then immediately thought of the possible conversation. ????"Y-You know, I just found out you re here–" ????Before I could even finish what I was saying, he walked away. Shame and annoyance overwhelm me. What the heck! Did he just snob me? ????I smiled in the mirror as I combed my hair. I was getting ready for work when I remembered what had happened again. That was our first conversation, and it has been followed by many. The time really flies that fast. I didn t expect that I would start to get disgusted and angry with him, and we would also end up feeling that way. I adjusted the pencil-cut skirt I m wearing now. I paired it with a white halter top and a black coat before sailing to the H&H office. Engineer Diony and Zoe were also heading there. I sigh. Now I m pretty much accepting of what Ashley and Asher have. But I still can t possibly deny the pain. It seems like five years are not enough for that. I saw more people in the office lobby now compared to when I went here during the meeting. ????Nervousness visited me again. Before I could even imagine that I might see the two, they immediately appeared in my sight. The two of them had just entered but were greeted by those present at the same time. Asher smiled big when the man he met seemed to whisper something to him. That was his aura that broke the necks of the people. I stared at the woman with him. She was wearing a fitted red gown and had a high slit on the side. She looks so sexy. My heart ached when I realized that Asher s perspective on what her girlfriend was going to wear had also changed. But I lost sight of the two when my cellphone rang. ????"Hello, Engineer Castuera," I said to my friend who suddenly called. She was probably looking for me. ????"Don t sulk there anymore. Go up to H&H Hall. Come on!" my friend laughed again, but I ignored that and followed her. ????My knees were trembling as I entered H&H Hall. It is said that the company will introduce the new business of another child of the Felix. We were invited again because Sir Antonio considered us friends, especially Engineer Dionysus. ????This party was filled with expensive people. I can t believe I m here. ????Who am I, really? A humble woman who is less than a year at work. Zoe approached me immediately. I almost thank her for coming before I belittled myself more. ????"Zoe, you didn t say it was a party. It s not just a meeting." There was sadness in my voice. I couldn t help but compare myself to the few people there. ????"I m sorry, Alessia. I only found out about minutes ago, and I never had a chance to tell you. . ." ????I nodded slowly. Gradually accepting that I can t keep up with these rich, especially now, and I m just starting work. ????"I brought you clothes, Alessia!" she exclaimed briskly once, handing me a paper bag. I scanned that gown and realized it wasn t just boutique clothes. That was the work of a great designer. ????I smiled. I was amazed for a few seconds before Zoe looked at me. "You should be prettier than Ashley." I laughed, so she laughed too, though she seemed serious. Because she couldn t be with me, I wasted no time because of the things that still needed to be done. ????It took a few minutes for someone to see me wearing this. "Thank you, Zoe. I owe you!" I sailed to the comfort room outside H&H Hall, thinking it might be more comfortable there, and I was not disappointed. No one was there, so I closed the door first. Excited, I stared at the gown. I think I can only wear such a fancy dress in my whole life, not even at my graduation. ????It was a white, long fitted gown. Its neckline was low, and I immediately thanked myself for wearing a strapless bra. It s simple, but you can t deny that it s beautiful. I also adjusted my makeup and tried to increase my eyeshadow, trying to get some smoky eyes that would match this dress. I can barely see my feet because of its length, so there s no problem with my old used stilettos. When I entered, everything was ready. I found the table reserved for us and realized we were completely there, and I was late again. ????"That s why she s late." Everyone at the table chuckled, so I almost blushed in embarrassment. ????"I m sorry, I wasn t ready. I wasn t informed that it was a party, so–" I didn t continue what I was saying at the sudden start of the program. ????"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We all know why we gather here. Well, this is all about Ashley s new cosmetics line. I can t find any other words to describe how proud I am with my daughter." I never followed again. Maybe I was stuck with the word he said. Daughter. . . Ashley. . . is it because she is the wife of their son, Asher? ????But Asher could not be their child because he had parents then — the Prados. What happened to them, then? ????I was paralyzed in my senses when my head suddenly ached. ????"I want to thank you for your support, Mom, Dad. Asher. . ." ????There were so many questions that I wanted to be answered! But if that could be answered, would it be worth it? Can I do anything else for that? ????"This month, some of ASH s products will be released. There are lipgloss, lipsticks, tints — all of which are Matte as of now. Plus, we also have concealer and foundations in different shades. And some eye makeups." Ashley seems to be really excited by her statement. I looked down at what she was wearing because if I just looked at her face all the time, I would just kill myself with envy. ????Her porcelain complexion almost shone. Her color is very different from Asher s skin. It remained brown, but you can notice his class. ????Next, I turned my gaze to the man with the wide smile looking at Ashley. He must be very proud. He has a girlfriend — or a wife? —that is dedicated to her work. Far far away from me. . . which is almost at the lowest. ????My eyes widened when I realized that he was also looking at me now! I averted my eyes and frowned. ????You are far away from me, Asher. I m so confused about everything. I desperately needed an answer, but I was so scared. ????When the program ended, everyone was dressed for food. My co-workers invited me three times, but I also said no three times. I ve lost my temper, and I don t even know if I ll ever want to eat again. Should I consider this as a punishment? ????Punishment even if I did nothing wrong? Punishment until now after five years? ????Soon, I felt annoyed with myself. I am annoyed why I am still hurt to this day. ????Five years ago. . . That was five years ago, and now, he was already forming his own family, financially stable, with that woman. ????It was our dream, but why did he choose to fulfill that with another woman? In an instant, it was as if I had also lost sight of what had happened five years ago, and it was as if I was back to the beginning again. ????Like a Jenga toy, I was able to pull the wrong piece, so I kept crumbling. I almost shut myself up then, making sure I had no other information to hear about the man. ????I tried to forget him, but in those five years, it was until I was just trying over and over again. ????I don t know how and why, but it was hard then. I glanced at the two of them again. Ashley frowned as if she was already tired of teasing when Asher was already laughing. ????They are happy. The two were happy while I was still repeatedly fighting myself. Something hit my chest, and I could hardly breathe. I immediately stood up and looked for my way out. I easily found the reason why I was still here. First, my state has a big gap with the people there. Second, I look like a fool who is still pushing myself into Asher s life. Lastly, I don t want to fight anymore. I am sick of overcoming things that I don t even deserve. ????I can no longer count on the fingers of my hands how many times I got tired, how many times I wanted to give up. This was not the scene I had imagined before. I thought when we met again, he would be just air for me. It was like I was confident, and I would never look at them again. But obviously, because of my stupidity, here we are - meeting again, talking. Here I am, struggling. I hit the elevator button and waited for it to open. I can feel the itch in my throat that seems to sound like drinking. Beers are my besties. I am with them at any celebration, in grief, as well as in sympathy for my dead heart. I just laughed at myself for being dramatic. I need to drink first maybe and forget all that is going on that I can t control, even for a few hours. . . or even minutes. I just want to forget, even for a moment. If there weren t more people in that elevator, I wouldn t be paying attention to myself and my unchanged clothes. I was able to go down a few more, so I just hugged myself. I was partially unable to be confident because of my thoughts. What is my defense against that young CEO? Imagine being the brain for a cosmetic line, ASH. That was just awesome. Ashley has her mind set, stunning and elegant looking. She seems kind, too, and I can t deny that even though she was the reason Asher and I broke up back then. ????Maybe I need to accept and start convincing myself again. I might be able to free myself more from the pain if I throw away the little hope left for the two of Asher and me. ????Fine. I should have done this a long time ago. The elevator door was about to close when someone blocked his own hand to keep it open, which I didn t pay attention to right away. ????I focused on self-persuasion, formatting, and conditioning myself. ????I was at H&H for work, and Mr. Asher Felix is my boss. ?????I wouldn t have ignored the people there anymore, but after a while, the noise started. ????"Good evening, sir." ????"Sir Felix, is the party over?" ????"You look so handsome, Asher! How have you been?" ?????I immediately stiffened to the stand. I was in the back and could almost get stuck in the crowd then, but I still tried to look at the man they were talking to. ????Quickly depressed, my knees softened when I confirmed what had just been on my mind. The word 'luck is no longer really known to me. That misfortune continued when the people on the third floor got out, and the two of us were left right inside the elevator. ????As hard as I went to hide myself behind some woman before, it was just as easy for me to get angry at the situation. I calmed myself a few times. I sighed a little more and bowed slightly when I caught sight of my 'boss . I greeted him as the female employees had done before. ????What is this test of life? What s wrong with Cupid, and it is as if his mistake five years ago wasn t enough and we still meet again? ????Why do I feel like I m the only one being who is punished when they are the ones who hurt me? It was as if ten horses were chasing my breath until I reached the lowest floor. ????I waited in front of the man to come down out of respect for being our 'boss — even though I wanted to push him out. I smiled a lot when the man stepped out, but it also disappeared when he turned to me again and said, "You still don t have a taste for clothes." ????He said that clearly, looked at his way again, and continued to walk away. ????I was dumbfounded. My foot is too heavy to step out. ????That was five years. It was five years that I had no other desire to hear about the man. I did not ask for any explanation. ????But now that he s back, he just keeps on being silly to me. His words were like poison. The man s words were like a sudden bomb going to explode with me. 'I will never forget everything you have done to me, Asher. I can take revenge too, a small voice whispered inside me.