Chapter 3 : Alone

My car idled in the parking lot across from The Den of Sin. All day, all I could think about was what really happened last night. How I got home. I didn't remember anything after dancing with Orion. If he was even real. Fuck. I felt like I was losing my mind. I could blame it all on stress, but last night felt so real. My entire body quivered just thinking about it. About how he made me feel. It had to be real. He had to exist. Spending the day driving around, I picked up applications from various places that said: HIRING NOW on their windows. I wasn't dressed for an interview, much less to go clubbing. But damn it, I couldn't get it out of my head. I couldn't get him out of my head. The sun lowered across the horizon, and the club just opened for the night. No one was in line yet, but the same bouncer from last night guarded right outside. I could ask him. Orion said he owned the place. I mean, the man took me upstairs…I think. Surely the bouncer would know the owner. I got out of my car, paid an obscene price for a parking fee and walked across the street. The bouncer perked up when he saw me coming. "We have a dress code," he stated with a booming voice, crossing his arms over his broad chest. Decked out in all black. The man looked like he was born to guard things. I brushed my hair behind my ear, showing him my ID. "You might remember me from last night. I won't be here long. I'm looking for someone." He glanced at my ID, interesting amber eyes flickering. "I see a lot of people." "Please. I think his name was Orion, at least that's what he told me before he took me upstairs," I said, feeling more and more stupid the longer this giant man glowered at me. "I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm going to ask you to leave," the bouncer said, getting between me and the door. My body shrunk, a tingle of fear crawling up my spine. The door opened to reveal the bartender, Lily, looking just as gorgeous as I remembered. "Seb, let her in." "I don't answer to you, Lily," the massive man, Seb, replied, grinding out the words from between his teeth. Lily smirked, her full lips pulling in a devious smile. "You do today, big boy." Her eyes flickered over to me. "Come on in, baby. What can I do for you?" A totally different atmosphere inside the club. I guess there weren't as many partygoers on a Sunday night. The music was quieter. People still danced, but most casually drank at the bar, talking around the cocktail tables. "Not too busy tonight?" Lily shrugged, her sleeveless leather tank showing off numerous tattoos. She turned around one of the tables to face me, tilting her head from side to side. Her tongue flicked out to touch her lower lip, revealing a barbell decorating her tongue. "Nah, not on Sundays. Why're you here, forget something?" "Actually, yes…" I murmured, gulping hard and fighting the impulse to cower. I pulled my hood off, fiddling with one of my braids. "I can't remember how I got home last night." Lily narrowed her eyes. "What do you remember then?" she asked, golden eyes shining. "I remember dancing with someone," I said. "Ah…looking for a man? A woman?" Lily probed. "What did they look like?" Diverting my gaze, I leaned against the table. "I can't remember what he looked like." An expression that vaguely looked like relief softened Lily's eyes. "I can't help you if you can't remember, baby." I couldn't help the frown curling the corners of my lips. "What I can tell you, is that you were pretty drunk when you left. I called a cab for you. I am glad you got home safely though," she replied, tossing blonde curls over one shoulder, contrasting sharply with the reddish-brown ochre of her skin. "I've never gotten blackout drunk before…it never happens," I stated, wrinkling my forehead. "I pour a strong drink." She paused, looking behind me at the dance floor. "You could stay, and see if your mystery man shows up, but I think you're wasting your time." My shoulders slumped in defeat. "You don't remember me going upstairs with anyone?" "We don't have an upstairs." A bitter laugh bubbled past my lips before I could stop it. I was going crazy. "Right. Of course, you don't." "Go home. Sleep it off," Lily said gently. "I'd talk more, but I don't get paid to be a therapist. At least not a sober one." I rubbed the nape of my neck. "Yeah. Thanks anyways." Pulling the hood back over my head, I could feel her eyes on my spine as I left. Uneasiness pricked my skin. "Have a nice night, Adira," Seb said as I passed him, on the way to my car. I pulled my keys out, one hand threading through one of my braids and unraveling it. I wanted to rip my hair out. Frustration gripped me like a vise. But I crushed it back down. Maybe I just needed to sleep it off. But, I wasn't tired. Not at all. In fact, as the sun set, energy surged through me. It felt like something was running under my skin. Slithering and coiling inside of me. I couldn't sit still. I buzzed with adrenaline. Exhaling through my nose to steady my hands. It was an odd sensation. Ever since the accident, I've been lethargic. Sleeping all the time. Rubbing salve against my scars to combat how tight they felt, like a rope constricting me all the time. Not today. I didn't feel any of that today. That's the funny thing about pain. Eventually, when it becomes normal, you stop noticing it. I could get used to not feeling it. *** When I got home, Nova wasn't there. I had an extra bag of food in my hand that I picked up on the way back for her. I sighed, putting it on the counter before texting her. ME: Hey, I grabbed you a burger. It's in the fridge for you. Almost an instant reply. NOVA: Thanks. How'd the job search go? ME: I picked up some applications. We'll see. You coming home tonight? NOVA: Don't wait up. I'm out with some friends tonight. Yeah right. My chest ached as that bitter pain continued to carve its way through my heart. ME: Have fun! :) I slammed my phone down on the countertop, the sound echoing through the small apartment. A tear streamed down my face, but I wiped it away. I grabbed a glass to get something to drink and quench the scratchiness in my throat. Tilting the glass back, I gulped down the contents, shuddering violently. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Bracing against the counter, I clenched my eyes shut. But when I opened them, all I saw was a sink full of dishes. Both of my hands fisted my hair at the scalp. Why the fuck couldn't Nova do her own dishes? Deep breaths. It's just dishes. Not worth getting upset over. In the silence of my apartment, I scrubbed plates, mixing utensils, whatever the fuck Nova used. Baking sheets. Sticky, syrupy sugary mess on everything. Damn it, it was on the floor too. After the dishes were done, I mopped the floor, vacuumed the living room, and folded communal towels piled on top of our laundry chair. The worst part? She wouldn't even thank me for it. But the apartment needed it. It had been neglected lately from me picking up extra hours at work. Not that any of it mattered. I still got laid off. As I showered, letting the scalding water slip over my skin, painting me pink. I couldn't even feel it. I couldn't tell if I was crying or if it was the water. There wasn't any fight left in me. I had reached the point in drowning that the convulsions stopped, the pain still present, but bliss lay just beyond the horizon. Let it take its course, Adira. It would be over soon enough. This will not be forever. I accepted it. The loneliness. The emptiness. I wanted it to swallow me, so the pain would finally stop. But I was too much of a coward to do it myself. I barely remembered getting into bed, turning off my light, and curling into a ball under the covers. At some point, my body slackened and I fell asleep. A heavy weight settled on my chest, my arms heavy. My mind raced, but I couldn't move. A suffocating sensation enveloped me like someone was watching me. Eyes hot against me. I could feel them trace my form like fingertips under my blanket. But I couldn't move. Couldn't flinch or get away. I couldn't even open my eyes. My breath rose and fell quickly, pressing against my rigid sternum, unable to expand far enough to hyperventilate. I felt tight all over, a heady scent of cologne filling my nose. I knew that smell. "You are an anomaly, Adira." A smooth voice cascaded over me, thick as honey. But not nearly as sweet. Goosebumps beaded across my skin. I recognized that voice. Orion. "Open those pretty gray eyes for me, pet." The words slid across my skin, a shiver of pleasure in its wake. I couldn't fight his command as I slowly obeyed. I panted like a frightened animal, but when I saw his frame, long and lean, stretched out in the darkness, legs folded over one another in my chair, the fear morphed into something else. Amber eyes glowed in the darkness. Fiery and violent. But not without curiosity. He stood up, the shadow of him moving closer to me. He moved like a predator. Refined by experience. How much experience, I didn't know. I should be afraid. A strange man in my room. But the closer he got to me, the stronger the coils of desire twisted inside of me. The light flickered on without him touching it, and I was struck with strong features, dark eyebrows, rich golden skin accompanied by a wolfish grin. Softened by two dimples on either side of his plush pink lips. At that moment, I wasn't a girl in front of a man. I was a feast in front of a starving predator. He didn't feel like a man at all, even if he looked like one. He snapped his fingers, eliciting a sinful surge of pleasure like a stroke of a tongue between my legs. My eyes widened, a delicious shiver coaxing my spine to arch. It frayed my willpower. He tilted his head to the side, eyes narrowed in fascination. Just like that, the weight evaporated off of me. Slowly, I sat up, braids cascading over my shoulders. "You're…real," I murmured. The predatory grin widened as he bent at the waist, cupping the side of my face. His fingers stroked the scar there just like he did last night. "Of course, I'm real, Adira." He paused. "The question I have is…are you?" My lips parted, inhaling the musky scent he wore, intoxicating me completely. "What do you mean?" He shrugged, eyes dipping to my mouth before straightening up. I couldn't help but look up, drinking up his appearance. "You shouldn't be alive, pet." The way he said it. The indifference in his tone should have upset me, but it didn't. He was right. I had dodged death so frequently, I didn't think I should be alive either. "That's not what I'm talking about." He could hear me? Orion grinned again, telling me he could hear what I was thinking. I gasped, pressing one of my hands over my lips to stifle it. "When someone feeds my hunger, they usually die for it," he murmured. "A sweet death, but death nonetheless." He knelt in front of me, at eye level with me as he gazed into me. So deeply, I'm sure he could see the tattered corners of my soul. "How are you alive?" I didn't answer. Instead, I asked, "What are you?" "What I am doesn't matter, pet." "Then what do you want?" I asked quietly, drawing my lower lip into my mouth. His hand shot forward and gripped my face with a force that should have hurt. I stared into his eyes, watching darkness eat up the amber irises. "I want you to feed me." I felt my body react to his words, my skin tightening and tingling everywhere. "Will it kill me?" A ravenous growl climbed up his throat as he answered, "Yes." Darkness and bliss beckoned me. My eyelids fluttered, the danger of it all enticing me more than anything else ever has. "Then take what you want." One of his hands pushed me backward onto my bed and his body shadowed mine, settling between my thighs. A helpless moan slipped past my lips when I felt him press against me, the heaviness of him stealing my breath away. His mouth pressed against my throat, his fingers slipping past the waistband of my sleep shorts. I pressed my breasts upwards, flat against his chest. Orion groaned against my throat and suddenly, I was naked. And so was he. I cried out, parting my legs further and notching him exactly where I wanted him. And fuck, I wanted him. I wanted his body. I didn't care what he was, I only cared about how he made me feel. Only cared about how he made me forget about every pathetic thing happening in my life. It would be over soon anyways. And I couldn't think of a better way to die. He breathed in deeply, devouring the pent-up energy pouring off of me. He didn't make me wait as he took his pleasure from me. Using me in the most primal way, but I didn't care. The haze of lust blinded me. Everything started to blur as his punishing thrusts pushed me to the edge of ecstasy. My arms were limp over my head, unable to move. I expected to disappear, slowly blinking in and out of existence when a punch of adrenaline flooded my system. My eyes flared open and my fist shot up, gripping Orion by the nape of his neck. He gasped in surprise and I moaned loudly at how his surprise made me feel. "Kiss me," I demanded. His eyes narrowed and he snapped my hand away from him, pinning it over my head. "You don't make demands of me, pet." He moved faster, claiming me with his cock, propelling me into the fucking clouds. I screamed, convulsing as powerful waves dragged me under. My entire body stiffened, clenching around him. As soon as I climaxed, he threw himself off of me, his chest rising and falling rapidly. He looked dazed. Drunk even. His eyes narrowed in a seething glare, upper lip curled into something like a snarl. I was too exhausted to find that expression intimidating. I blinked. And he was gone. Darkness edged my vision and I slumped into a motionless heap on my bed.