Chapter 8

It took an entire week for my injury to heal. My back made me suffer all these days and escaping from daily chores was out of the question. I had no other choice but to push through the pain. The Whitlocks watched me suffer without lifting a finger. The wincing I did every time I had to bend to clean or pick up something went unnoticed. Actually, I think it was actually amusing to some, like the old master Whitlock. There was always a smug smile on his face every time I caught him staring at me. I started to speculate about him being a monster, feeding off of my suffering. But, despite all the troubles, I’m still grateful. I came to realize after a day or two that my back wasn’t actually broken, just badly bruised. Time did the healing and now, the pain is almost entirely gone, leaving me with just a numb sensation on my lower back. Ricardo who was the only person sensible enough to see my pain in this mansion had given me a sleeping pill. I think I can use it tonight and wake up tomorrow, rested and in much better health. Another thing I’m grateful for is the bathtub I have in my bathroom. I’ve never taken a bath before but tonight, I want to take care of myself. I soak in a lavender bath for an hour, almost falling asleep because of how relaxing it is. When I close my eyes, I can imagine living a completely different life. I see myself as the daughter of a loving family, wealthy enough to not worry about money every second of the day. My only concerns are getting good grades and having a good relationship with the people closest to me. A smile tug at the corner of my lips. This is everything I’ve ever wished for, just a peaceful and simple life. It seems almost unambitious and yet, for someone like me, it's unattainable. When the bath gets cold, all the visions of my perfect life fade away with it and I’m left with an empty void in my chest. I get out of the bathroom after wearing my pajamas. The house is extremely quiet as I kneel by the bedside to make my night prayer. I never miss it because it helps me live with the eeriness of the Whitlock mansion. I kiss the cross I’m wearing around my neck and finally get to bed. My sleeping pill and a glass of water are waiting on my nightstand. I take them and sigh in relief, feeling already much lighter. I check my phone while waiting for the effects to fully hit me and papa has sent me another series of hateful messages. I don’t open them anymore to save me the heartbreak. I’m sure he’s suffering too and needs a way to vent. Unfortunately, he chose me as a scapegoat but I forgive him and pray that he gets his life on track soon. I also find that my friend and neighbor Pamela has messaged me. We are not very close but used to be in the same class in high school. We shared a few good times at lunch or during recess but as I said before, everyone is too cautious to make meaningful connections where I’m from. You never know whom you might befriend and what it will cost you... But somehow, I feel different about Pamela. She’s the only person who noticed that I’m gone among my friends and acquaintances and she reached out to ask if I’m okay. My fingers stay frozen over my phone’s keyboard as I try to think of an answer. I’m definitely not okay but I don’t know if I can be honest with her. I don’t want to trouble anyone with my life issues, especially since we are all in the same boat. Since the effects of the pill are starting to take rapid effects, I decide to reply to Pamela in the morning and just lie in bed. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow. When I wake up again a few hours later, it’s not thanks to my alarm clock. My eyes flew wide open and an uneasy feeling settled within me. I think that I had another nightmare and just can’t remember it but that’s not it. There is something else going on. My room is dark which tells me that it’s still nighttime. I turn to lie on my back and that’s when I see it, the tall silhouette standing by the bed. My entire body freezes and it’s like someone poured a bucket of ice-cold water all over me. I could not scream or talk, paralyzed by my fear. The man standing by the bed remains unmoved. I can’t tell who it is but I have a pretty good guess... It’s when he leans over me that I get the confirmation I needed. I have smelled that expensive perfume on Ivan before. My face twists in disgust when I realize that he also reeks of alcohol. I finally regain control over my body and reach out to turn the nightstand lamp on. Ivan crawls on top of my bed and I scream in pure terror. He looks crazy, just like that time in his study room. The worst is that he is also drunk this time. I stare into his blood shot eyes and guess immediately that he didn’t get an ounce of sleep and probably spent most of the night drinking and...Crying? Yeah. I think I see tear stains on his face. But anyway, I don’t have much time to ponder on his tears. What I need right now is a solution to get rid of him even though he has me pinned to the bed and under his heavy body. It’s just like the study room and so I can’t help but panic. He came to finish his work and end my life for good. I turn to my bedroom’s door and find it wide open. How did he get in? I always lock my door before going to sleep. Ivan grabs my jaw and forces me to keep my eyes on him. He laughs drunkenly. “You didn’t think that locking your door would keep you away from us, did you?” “...What?” “I have a spare key, Silly. We all do.” My eyes widen in horror. Spare keys?! So...All this time, I thought I was safe in my bedroom but it was just an illusion? And what does he mean by “all”? Oh God...I think this is it. I just cannot stay in this house any longer, not without security. If I’m lucky, Ivan will kill me now. Or else, I will have to run away. “It’s not my first time coming in here.” He tells me with his hand going to my collarbones. “I’ve been in your room multiple times to watch you sleep and have nightmares about your dead mother. You don’t have a private life, Catalina. That’s because you belong to us. You were brought here simply for entertainment purposes.” I grit my teeth together and stare back at him with all the venom I can find in me. “And what do you want now, Ivan?!” I spit. “Why are you here this time?” He laughs again, running a hand through his messy hair. “I just came to tell you that it’s not in your best interest to be difficult. You’re not leaving this mansion anytime soon and the more you try to fight your fate, the harder it’s going to be on you.” “What is my fate?” “To please and serve your masters in whatever way they deem fit. Last time, in my study room, I was generous enough to offer compensation if you agreed to have sex with me but you refused.” He snorted as if he still couldn’t believe it. “Don’t you realize that I don’t need to offer you anything in return or even to ask for your permission?! I can literally take everything I want from you because it’s my fucking right!” My entire body shakes uncontrollably. I try to slap him but Ivan grasps both of my wrists and pin them to my chest. He smiles. I think he finds it amusing that I’m so weak compared to him. The fucking asshole. “So, what are you going to do, now?” I ask him through gritted teeth. “Are you going to rape me and get it over with? Fine. I accept that I can’t physically stop you but...How fucking sad is it that you have to force a woman to sleep with you, Ivan?” My comment has the exact effect I was hoping for. Ivan frowns deeply, his grip tightening around my wrists. I click my tongue: “I’m just the maid, right? A useless servant and yet...You can’t even get me to sleep with you willingly. That’s just embarrassing...You can do whatever you want to my body, sure, but you are NEVER getting inside my head. You will NEVER own or tame me, Ivan. I don’t care if I have go through hell, I won’t surrender to you or any other member of your family.” Ivan stares at me with wide, furious eyes. Then, his attention goes to my chest rising and falling rapidly. For a minute, I suspect that he will actually proceed and try to rape me but it’s with great relief that I watch him release my body and get out of the bed. I sit up with the covers hugged tight around me. I’m still shaking. Ivan sniffs and starts pacing around like a beast in cage. He makes me nervous and honestly scared for my life because of how unstable he is. In the end, he stops and points at me. “Alright, Miss Nunez...Let’s see how long you will keep up with this nasty attitude. I will break you until you’re nothing more than a puppet in my hands. Soon, you’ll be begging me to screw you!” “Hah. Let’s see.” He sneers and turns around to leave. As soon as he’s gone, the tears starts to flow out of me and I cry like a child. Oh, God what is happening? I can’t stay here. I just can’t. Of course, I’m incapable of falling asleep again and I stay awake until the crack of dawn. I text Pamela saying that I’m not okay and that sometimes, I wish for death. Then, I get out of bed to start working. Ivan and his father start arguing very early in the morning. I can hear them screaming at each other from the kitchen, even though they are on the first floor. Their voices ring over the entire mansion. I guess master Whitlock found his son drunk out of his mind on a weekday and is not too happy about it. I hope they end up killing each other. Ricardo sneaks into the kitchen while I’m making breakfast. He steals one of the berries on the counter and plops it in his mouth. He seems to be in a giddy mood. “Good morning, Catalina.” I offer him a faint smile but he notices the grim look on my face. “What’s wrong?” He asks. “The sleeping pill didn’t work, did it? You had another nightmare?” I sigh deeply, putting the cake I’m making in the oven. Ricardo follows me with his eyes, looking extremely worried. “You should get back to work before someone finds you here.” I tell him. “Hector won’t be too happy and the masters either.” “I don’t care. I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s up with you.” He’s serious. Well...Maybe a confession will help to ease my heart. I move to the other side of the counter to stand by Ricardo’s side. “...Ivan was in my room, last night.” I blurt out. His eyes widen and there is suddenly a spark of rage in him. Ricardo fists his hands. I hold his arm, thinking that he’s going to try something stupid. “Listen. I don’t want you to react, okay? I will deal with it my own way.” “Shit, Lina. What was he doing in there?! He didn’t hurt you, did he? Is that why he’s arguing with his dad right now?” “I don’t know. He was drunk so I think that’s the issue with his father.” “But what did he want from you?!” “Awful things, Ricardo. He said he owns me...He wants me to sleep with him. He would have raped me yesterday if I didn’t tell him that it was embarrassing to force a woman like that and so, he said he will make me do it another way, break me to the point where I would agree to...” I stop myself because it’s too painful to say all these things aloud and also because I’m hurting Ricardo. His face twists and his grip on the counter tightens. “Hey.” He looks at me. “I shouldn’t have told you this...Don’t go and try to defend me, do you understand?! You told me yourself that these people are dangerous. I will deal with Ivan, I think I have a tiny bit of power over him...And I will find a way to get out of here. But you don’t do anything, do you understand?” Ricardo doesn’t speak. I don’t think he understood. His frown deepens and he doesn’t look so young anymore. It’s almost like he took twenty years in age in the span of a few seconds. I really shouldn’t have told him. This is why I don’t like sharing my problems with others. I put a hand on his cheek. “Sorry...” “Don’t apologize.” He finally says. “Don’t you dare apologize.” “Please, promise that you won’t try to protect me.” But Ricardo never gets the opportunity to respond. Someone comes in the kitchen and it’s Hector. He doesn’t have to speak a word. He just looks at us severely and Ricardo walks away from me and out of the kitchen. Hector throws a pointed gaze in my direction and I wonder if he heard what I was saying earlier. In the end, he turns around and leaves too, without a word for me.