chapter 17

"They ve called all wolves to the great hall, immediately." He drops his hand from my jaw and jumps to his feet in naked glory, and I avert my eyes, suddenly aware of this and instantly shy. He has your typical Alpha package going on and it s not exactly easy to not look at. Generally, the males have something to be proud of, and Colton is no exception. My face reddens, heat rising on my cheeks, and I huddle myself in, still recovering from this shitstorm we just put ourselves through, and now blushing to my core because I ogled him and realized he s well endowed. I wait for him to leave, hoping to pull myself together with a little headspace and also try not to check out his ass, but he pauses when he sees I make no effort to follow. "That means you too. My goal is to have you initiated into this pack, Lorey. No matter what it takes. My father can t keep denying us if you re accepted. We need to have a plan ... steps to being together. I don t want to keep going through the emptiness of the last weeks and denying this between us. What I said in the forest—I was wrong." He shrugs as if he s reciting some bland speech and not literally altering everything I thought was happening in the last weeks of agonizing life. My eyes dart to him, shocked, yet not. Deep down, I guess I knew this was his motive and his feelings on where we should end up. I m just not so sure anymore. The words I said in anger still ring true, and my heart is telling me that a bond should be stronger than his father s command. I can t shift that disappointment in him because I feel like he was too quick to give me up. I m a whirlwind of emotions, and so much has happened in the last twelve hours that I need some time to let my brain catch up. I ve been through trauma, changes, a whirlwind, and I need to process it all. I can t tell which way is up, and I m no longer in control of a single tiny thing in my own life. Not even where I ll sleep tonight, let alone live tomorrow. "Come. Please. You can t say here in this mess, and we need to get you some clothes." He stretches his hand to me, extending his palm outwards and I brush it away. "Why can t you let me leave to figure this out on my own? This is the last place on earth I want to be." Tears begin to fall as self-pity hits hard, and I guess it s because I m physically and mentally exhausted, too. This is not how I thought my life would go, and from the day I turned, it s been hell and heartache all rolled into one. He exhales heavily, frustrated with me, and yanks me to my feet with a forceful lunge at my arms instead. Pulling me up despite my refusal. Taking charge and not in the mood for arguments. "Listen to me. I need you to comply for a little while and we ll figure this out, together. I don t want you to go. When this settles, I ll go to the orphanage and pack up all your stuff, and we can talk about where we go from there; right now, I need you to come with me and do as I say." He has that edge to his voice I usually hear when he s leading his pack around. It s the 'don t argue with me commanding tone of Prince Santo. What else can I do? I m technically a prisoner here with nowhere else to go. I m on my feet, with a persistent pain in my ass bossing me around, in a house full of people who hate me. I literally only have him on my side to depend on, and only because the Fates forced it. I have nowhere else, and if I m being honest with myself, everything is too messy, my gifts too new, and my mental state a little too on the fragile side to be thinking about going anywhere alone. So, I nod reluctantly. "Come on then. Stay close to me." Colton turns and leads the way, sensing I don t want or need him touching me, and I do as he says. Staying right behind him, clutching my sheet and wait while he grabs one, wrapping it on like a toga, and heads towards the door. If Carmen saw us now, naked with ripped bedsheets to cover our modesty, she would only assume the worst, and I can t imagine that going down well at all. I shudder at the possibility she might see us. Within seconds we re in the hall moving along the wide passage in semi-darkness, due to all the boarded-up windows and lack of lighting, and he leads onwards, following some turns and a flight of stairs until we get to the floor below. They put me on the top floor at the far end of the house, away from everyone, and now we seem to be on the third floor in a brighter hallway with doors all bearing names, and keypads on each. Colton stops me with an arm, pushes me back around the corner we rounded and hushes me with a finger to my lips as two Santo pack members appear from a door opening, both walk out and head away from us, completely unaware of our presence. He makes us wait a second before leading us halfway down the hall to the third door on the right and turns, places his hand on the pad to scan his palm and it clicks open. His name s on the door, so I guess this is his room. "Why are we hiding if you re taking me downstairs, anyway?" I ask blatantly, composing myself since leaving that room. He slides an arm around me and shuffles me into the darkened space, pulling me in and closing the door behind us with a last outward check of the hall. He walks off across the bedroom, towards a set of wooden doors in front of me, slides them open to reveal wardrobes, and starts pulling out clothes in multiples of two. It s dull in here thanks to the boarded-up windows, but light is shining through the cracks brightly, illuminating enough, telling me daylight has come. I follow him, taking in the almost Scandinavian, Ikea style, and minimalism of his room. He likes space and neatness, with very few items cluttering it up. Neutral tones, light woods, plants and a lot of floor space, and open calmness. It s clean and airy and almost obsessively organized. "Carmen just needs to know I brought you in here and she ll go nuclear. It s best if I appear downstairs with you, where she s contained, because my ears, and my head, can t handle her gifts right now. She still thinks we have a future, and I need to talk to her about that." He carries on focusing on clothes, his tone level, as though he hasn t just caused me pain with careless words. It quietens me and that distant heartache and pang of jealousy find its way back home to my stomach. In all this mess, I was wondering if our bond has been dented and if I was starting to feel differently about him. I guess I m not that lucky, as my heart still seems very much attached, despite everything. I m mad at him, disappointed in him, but yet, I still yearn for and love him. My soul still wants and needs him. We dress quickly, although his clothes are baggy on me, it s better than showing up in a rag and a smile. Following him close to his heel, we make our way down another two flights of stairs and two other levels before we end up back where I caused such a scene hours ago. That sweeping staircase to the main entrance, which is now immaculately calm. It s a lot cleaner and tidier now the debris is gone, and the front door closed, with the addition of several new heavy-duty locking mechanisms in place. The boarded glass panels are screwed on with braces over them for now, hinting that the threat of another attack is on Juan s mind. Colton takes my hand in his unexpectedly, sliding strong fingers into mine and leads the way across the vast marble floor into a small hallway that runs away from the bathroom he put me in earlier. I don t reject his touch, needing it now I m on a comedown from what happened upstairs. Once again vulnerable and out of my depth and clinging to him to take charge while in his domain. Drawing from his strength and ability to swagger through the worst kind of chaos. We walk down the dark, almost claustrophobic, space, with voices, noises, lots of movement cascading our way, and follow two Santos we catch up with inside the most crowded room I ve ever seen. It s hard to tell how big it would be empty, for it s packed solid with adult Santo wolves, mostly male, from all over, even the ones who don t live in the packhouse. Easily over a hundred or so, and they re all squeezed in, fighting for breathing space as we join right at the back, unseen. There are several elders and the Shaman, right down at the front, standing on a low podium facing back at us all. Men, I have never seen before in my life, standing behind them, and I guess these are the older generation of retired elders, coming out in our time of need. It s mostly men in here, as is the way when dealing with important matters, or femmes who have no children and are better suited to battle, as all of those who are not are home minding their little ones. Juan Santo is right in the center and he seems to be waiting for everyone to quieten down before he starts. The overwhelming seriousness of this cascades around the room, thickening the atmosphere with tension. Colton pulls me in front of him, placing me right at his chest so he s up against my back, lacing his fingers into both of my hands from behind as they hang by my sides in the darkest of our shadows. He rests his chin against the back of my head, bringing his body to fit snugly into mine, so we are completely joined without it being obvious to those around us. It looks like two people standing close due to the crushing lack of space as our hands are concealed in darkness. He s a good head taller than me, so it s a natural position, and I glance around to see if anyone is staring, but they re all too focused on their Alpha king. "Quiet now." A voice from the front row hushes the uneasy mumbling and scraping in the room and everyone stops talking, the atmosphere somehow heavier with the forced hush. Juan steps forward, although I can barely see him over the people in front of me and have to stand on my tiptoes to get a proper view between heads. There s a moment of pause as he looks around us all, his eyes catching his son across the crowds, and I can t miss the fleeting surge of anger as he realizes I m right in front of him. I glance away, instantly scalded, landing back down on flat feet, wounded by the penetrating glare, and scan the room instead to see if Carmen is anywhere close by. I can t see her, thankfully, which means she probably can t see us, and I try to sink further to better conceal myself behind the Santo in front of me. Colton squeezes my hands and holds me closer, somehow letting me know I should ignore it. Be still. You re safe with me. He comes through gently, caressing my mind with a tender tone, and I exhale dejectedly. For now, maybe. While they re all distracted with vampire attacks and end of world foreboding, but my gut says it s temporary. I can feel the hatred lingering in the air from Juan s vicious frown and it unsettles me in every kind of way. "You all know why we are here," Juan begins. It s the final push needed to bring a total hush to the room as all completely still, not even the shuffle of moving bodies, and fall deathly silent. It tugs my attention back to him, and I peek around the side of the male in front of me to catch sight of him again. "A long-forgotten enemy attacked us, and quite frankly, we didn t see it coming and were not prepared. Despite the rumbling of recent months, we didn t honestly expect them to rise and attack in this way, and we failed our people. We lost fifty-three of our kind, on the dark side of the mountain, tonight. Forty-seven lost in the battle and six bonded who perished when their mate's heart took its last beat." My heart aches as he says it, visualizing so many of the faces I know went down in that attack. Unlike anyone else in this room, I m probably the only one who not only knew their names, but what every single one of them looked like, who they were as people, and their ages not only when they died, but when they were first dumped in that hellhole without their loved ones. Memories with all of them, even if they were not close to me. To these wolves, they re just numbers to measure their failures against. I close my eyes as the tears begin to fall silently down my cheeks, warm unwelcome rivulets of remembrance. The pain returning once more and I can t stop myself. My heart filling up and straining to contain it as images I don t want to relive swamp my mind. I shudder as I push them away, inhaling heavily as my shoulders start to tremble with the effort of not falling apart. The horrors of how I last saw them all trying so hard to invade my brain and cut me down all over again. I nestle back into Colton as his arm comes up around my body and across my neck as he cuddles me. His comfort because he can feel my pain, my body trembling as I cry, squeezing my eyes shut to gain control. His touch is what I need more than anything and I stay here in the darkness of my own doing, listening and silently weeping while held tight in his comforting embrace. "We think it was a test, for this device we found in the orphanage," Juan carries on, and my eyes rip open at his words, shoving my despair aside as I squirm, wriggling out of Colton s arms to see what everyone is craning their necks to look at. Catching a gap as ones in front move sideways to look where I am. He holds up a small, perfectly square black box that looks harmless, an antenna sticking up at the top, but a lack of buttons or dials of any sort. Small and compact, no more than the size of a tissue box, with another wire sticking out from the rear about a foot long and doesn t seem to attach to anything to power it. It doesn t look real, more like something a child could make with card and glue and some black paint, and I blink at it, stupefied, glaring furiously, and hating that something so insignificant destroyed my life. "They chose our weakest and our most secluded and walked right in, depositing this in the center of the first-floor kitchen. We think they wanted to test its effectiveness and still have a fighting chance should it fail. It didn t. We ve only one survivor left from the home and only because of the fast actions of our pack. We took down many of their kind, but a few escaped and will report on their success for sure." There s a murmur and uneasiness as people glance around at one another, questioning, and I catch the whisper of my name on the hushed wave of sound. A mixture of relief that my survival ensured their own Santo Alpha, and also the bitter ones, calling me a reject and querying how I was the only one who survived. I catch the low, body vibrating, internal growl from Colton as his protective instinct kicks in at hearing my name and a couple of nearby Santos glance this way, eyes widening in surprise, and they instantly stare down at their feet, turning meekly submissive in a flash. Faces darkening with fear and shame at being caught by him, of all people. Realizing he s right here, among them, and not down there with his immediate family. I turn away to block them out and stare towards the front instead, mentally blanking them all because this has always been my life, and I m not that bothered by their remarks. I catch sight of his grandmother in the shadows when they settle down, a woman who barely shows face but is lingering nearby. Unsurprisingly, there s no sign of Luna Santo, Colton s mother. She s been absent from view since the wars, and, rumor has it, she locks herself up in her room on the main floor upstairs and never leaves. No one has seen her in years, and if it weren t for Colton s memories of her in my head, I wouldn t even remember what she looked like. Some say she was scarred horribly by the battles, both mentally and physically, and is too ashamed to come out and face her people. Meeting one of the few things in the world which can leave unhealable damage on a wolf and her mental state has crumbled with the trauma. Only I now know from being inside his head there s some truth to the stories, and there s only a vague blurry visual of Colton being told she s cared for, away from the mountain, because the war broke her. Those around us turn silent as Juan breaks through the thick atmosphere once again, drawing me away from my train of thought and disrupting my searching of the past for answers to her lack of appearance. "Testing weapons can only mean we re heading for a war with an enemy we thought we long ago vanquished. They re working on a strategy, and this is just the beginning. There have been stories, rumors, but nothing concrete for many months, although this is now our proof. Civilization as we know it is about to change drastically. We must protect the packs and join with those from other lands, prepare for what is coming. We must unite and finally have one leader to rule. One voice, to work as one, under my guidance as Alpha, if we are to survive a second war like the last." I shiver as his words hit home, my brain scrambling to fathom something as huge an undertaking as that. We re a dozen packs in one state, but worldwide there are thousands, hundreds of thousands and most still do not live in peace with the others of their kind. Rivalries exist, and some are still at war with one another, even now with the history of the wars behind us. A common enemy may change that, but there s a lot to do before that can happen. Packs are destined to want to rule over one another, fight for dominance, forge the hierarchy, and our mountain is not normal when it comes to living proximity. It was a necessity as we recovered from the war of before. Our people, shattered by loss, were more pliable in accepting another pack as our leader. Most of our Alphas never came back to dispute the claim to rule us. Santo s idea that he will become the only leader and unite us all seems ridiculous, given the vast amount of us in this world he will need to unite. I m sure there are other pack leaders out there who believe themselves far superior to him. Other dominants with way more ability and gifts, and it s not in an Alpha s nature to yield without a fight. I shiver, my body trembling with all that is dawning on me how terrifying our future now looks, and Colton tightens his hold on me, reassuring me as best he can. Trying to keep me calm and be that rock I never knew I needed before I found his touch. I exhale heavily, submerging myself in his body heat and try to bring myself peace. "We need to put measures in place to protect our mountain from another attack—effective immediately. Allocations of groups, with leaders, will be assigned to those who haven t already had so. We are the reigning pack in Radstone, and they ll all be looking to us now, to lead and protect them. Training will begin at first light for all old enough to fight, so all of you eat. Sleep. We ve already sent small details to walk the perimeters and each of the villages has been ordered to do the same. We ll have guards outside at every hour, keeping watch, and we ll revise a system to improve on all of this, set up drills with how to react should an alarm be raised. In the next few weeks, we ll be moving all surrounding packs to the south side of the mountain, here among our people, for their own safety. We have much to do. There will be upheaval and chaos, but we must keep our heads. This was the first offensive, and we do not know when they intend to return." The silence becomes unbearable when his last words fall in the air, and the gravity of our situation sits heavy on us all. Some of these men and women are survivors of the first war against the vampires and already paid their dues, but most of us were just children, or young enough to stay behind. We lost so many, and although our numbers have recouped over the years, we re not living in readiness for a fight. We ve had relative peace for years, and I have no idea how the hell we re going to get through this. Bringing us all to one place to live in each other s pockets, here in the Santo land, is going to be madness. We re spread far around the skirts of the mountains and our numbers are high. There are not enough homes to accommodate bringing us all together to this one shaded side, under their command and watchful eye. Not to mention the children, their schools, and their animals on the outer farms. This is insanity. I feel sick to my stomach knowing that everything I knew before, my idea of empty living was, in fact, the best years of my sad existence. Now we re dawning on a new age, and I m wishing with all my heart that I could go back to being that unworthy reject, in a house full of unwanteds, on the shadowy side of our peaceful mountain. If I could go back, I would. I would never complain again, never crave a different life because what is coming couldn t be any worse.