CHAPTER 5 MIRAGE

CLAIRE The next day was surprisingly sunny. Not just the morning sun but my mood. I felt better now that I had a long and relaxing sleep. Now that I felt like I belonged somewhere, I stripped of the comfy crew-neck shirt and shorts and entered the bathroom. The water was healing. I got out in no time, dried my hair, and chose an outfit for the day. Willow had brought me a few clothes, and I was shocked that she still knew my size. Although they were not perfect sizes anymore because of how much weight I had shed these few days, I gave myself one last glance in the mirror. Not that bad. I descended the stairs and headed straight to the living room, my eyes surveying the unfamiliar room. Now, the vibrant colors had added a magical glow to everything. "Good morning!" When I got into the kitchen, Willow beamed at me over the pan as she drizzled some oil on it. "Hi," She had a soft and shy voice. At the breakfast bar was a blond little girl with two pigtails and a broad smile. She was bearing her teeth to expose a missing front tooth. "Irene, that's Claire, Aunt Claire. She will be staying with us now." Willow said this as an introduction. "Really? That's so cool." The little girl's smiles were tugged into her eyes. "We can do some gardening together and bake some rolls together." "You're so adorable." I walked over to pinch the bridge of her nose. "Yes, hunny," Willow said, flipping the eggs in the pan. Willow waited until the yellow school bus picked Irene up before she chose to focus on me. "Why isn't it official yet?" I asked for the hot chocolate she set out for me on the island. "Her mother is still alive." She broke off and met my puzzled gaze and added tactfully, "Lady stage of cancer. She doesn't want Irene to see her without her hair or just because she is sick. It's already hard on the little girl." "How old is she?" I asked, feeling sorry for the girl. "Six, seven in two months." "She's so young." "I know. She was to be placed at the facility. If there's anyone who knows how that goes, it's me. I had to intervene. She has been here for just four months and is a good kid." "You're not hard to be good too." I chuckled dryly. But Willow seemed to be seeing through me. She seemed to read the sadness rimming my eyes and just how pale my face was growing. I had this splitting headache that I was unsure how to handle; my stomach was building up, and I suspected I was going to have a fever. I needed to see a doctor soon. But doctors were filled with bad news. They were nothing but bad news, so I chose not to. I was dying anyway. "I don't think this is about that asshole anymore, is this? You look sick." Of course, I was sick. I wasn't ready to reflect on it just yet. Reflecting on it meant building anxiety and fear. It was the absolute state of mind I chose not to be in. Instead, I steered the conversation to another angle. "How's the flower shop?" Willow mentioned starting a flower shop, and I was genuinely interested in how it went. It had been one of her lifelong dreams growing up. "How about you tell me when you see it?" She winked as she loaded the dishwasher. A few minutes later, I sat in the front seat of her car as we drove through the city. My mind and gaze were outside the window. If things were different, If it had just been the divorce from Hudson, I may have handled it just fine. My mood was sullen, and I had no intentions of hiding it. I had no idea how to hide this sadness in me. I was both relieved and guilty when Willow never mentioned it all the time she drove until we parked outside her shop. "This is amazing!" I gasped at how beautiful the exterior was. "It cost me a little hard work." She cocked a brow, leading me towards the glass door. She had two staff, Maeve and Beatrice. They were all nice people and seemed good at their work because the flowers were beautifully organized. Willow had been able to make something out of her life these past three years. She had a home and a daughter, although the adoption process wasn't completed yet, and she had the business of her dreams. I had tossed three years of my life to the wind. I had hoped to thaw Alpha Hudson's cold and numbed heart before the end of our marriage, but that didn't seem to happen. "Congratulations!" I exclaimed when I got to her office. "You made your dreams come true." I heaved a sigh. "I just wasted mine. I gave up on mine." "Don't say a thing like that. I won't even blame you or lecture you on how you should've listened to me. I can't do that to you." I nodded and moved to sit and accept the coffee Maeve offered. "It's all in the past now." I shrugged. "And all you're going to do now is let the past be right where it belongs." She shrugged off her jacket and settled at her desk. Her words rang through my head all day as I let them calm me. The past deserved to remain exactly in the past. There was no future. I heaved a sigh. I was dying, and there was no future to hold onto. My past was pretty bitter, and these few days I had to live, I was sure to make it as memorable as possible. I was going to figure out a way to tell Willow about my health, and I was going to be completely honest with her. It was the least I could do to repay her kindness. She had warned me about jumping into the contractor with Alpha Hudson, but all I wanted was a better life. I went into the fast lane and crashed. Mirage. It was all a mirage. And now, look where it had me. For some reason, I felt connected to this new pack. If not for anything, it was where Willow and I had been traced to. Our origin was here, somewhere in this pack. But it was of no use to me. I was never going to find my family. My life was almost over, and I hadn't found the answers to my lifelong questions. "We have been booked for eight hours for a wedding. Roses, red roses." Maeve announced this as they switched over to business. I decided to go for a walk. I needed a distraction from my thoughts. I needed to feel the wind on my face, and above all, I needed to feel alive. I offered Willow a soft smile as I slipped from her office. It was a pretty sunny day, and I was going to do anything to match the blazing sun's mood.