CHAPTER 51

This morning, there"s no alarm to wake me to start working. There"s no screaming from downstairs, no sound of Sophie shrieking, no daycare. But I"m awake and warm and itchy. I"ve been at Dad and Haley"s for four days. The first couple of nights, I slept through without waking. Since Timothy left for LA, though, I"ve been restless and turned on. I still haven"t found the breakthrough I need with my final song, and I know Ian"s breathing down my neck. Soon Miranda will be, too. So, this morning, I give myself this one thing. I slide a hand down the front of my pajamas, where I"m already wet. It"s a bad idea to fantasize about a man you can"t have. I didn"t let myself do it when we were apart, save for a couple of times when I gave myself a pass on account of being too tipsy to regulate my fantasizing or having a really brutal day of rehearsing or, once, when he did a spread for this magazine where I swear he was looking right at